UPDATE: My (26M) girlfriend (26F) gave me an ultimatum regarding a group trip

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/og1YFgF3sf
I (26M) wanted to give an update on the situation with my girlfriend (26F) and her ultimatum.
First off, thank you to everyone who commented and reached out. I really appreciated the feedback. It gave me a lot to consider.
I didn?t get a chance to reply to comments, so I?ll address those questions in this update as well.
A lot of people asked how my GF and I even got together. We knew of each other back in high school, but we didn?t move in the same circles. We actually ended up going to the same college and bumped into each other at a party.
So I think that?s where our initial connection began. We were in this big college pond, and having a familiar face from back home made adjusting easier. We didn?t start dating until later, though.
Things felt more like a mutual respect back then. It was after we got together that it was almost like this overnight, complete intolerance.
I was also asked why she considered my friend Violet (28F) a pick-me girl. I honestly don?t know. The definition as I know it doesn?t fit Violet, imo. When I ask my GF, she only says that a woman knows another woman. She won?t elaborate. She never pinpoints specifics.
My GF was known to have a bit of a mean girl side back in high school, tbh. We discussed this before we started dating, and she seemed to work through that in college. But now it feels like that side very much shows whenever it comes to my interests or with anything involving Violet.
In regard to the ultimatum, I went back and forth on what I should do and what I wanted for me individually and for my relationship. I decided to still go on the group trip.
I do believe compromise is part of a relationship, but this ultimatum isn?t that. It?s an attempt to bulldoze in order to have control instead of working together.
I had to ask myself if I did go along with this ultimatum, then what will it lead to? What stops other ultimatums against my interests or whenever she sees fit?
I still wanted to give another shot at working things out, so I had that talk with my GF and let her know of my intentions of going on the trip.
I told her that I understood her feelings and that she does matter to me, but I felt that this ultimatum wasn?t healthy going forward for anyone involved. I again invited her to come on the trip, with her either staying with us at the AirBNB or her and I staying at a hotel, and I thought the trip could be good for us. That was a no-go.
There wasn?t any compromise she was willing to accept. She was still firm on the ultimatum and said she made her position clear, and if I was still going on the trip, then there was nothing more to discuss.
She kept repeating on and off that she hopes choosing Violet was worth it. I told her it had nothing to do with Violet and that she was the one making an entire group trip about Violet. The discourse wasn?t anything productive.
I asked her if she would please reconsider the situation. She said there was nothing to reconsider and that the choice is in my hands. I asked if we could talk again after the con to see how we were feeling, and her exact words were, the only conversation I?ll be having is with the walls because she won?t be in our place anymore when I get back.
Ever since then, she?s barely said a word to me, and my texts are left on read. So, I guess I?m unofficially being given the silent treatment.
I don?t understand why it has to be this way. We should be able to communicate. I don?t feel equally supported, seen, or appreciated in this relationship anymore.
It?s a mess, but a lot of the feedback I received on here and the recent argument has been a wake-up call, and there has to be some kind of change.
I do think the trip would be a nice refresher, and it?s my intent to still go. I don?t believe I?ll be any better off not going, tbh.
Thank you to everyone again.
TL;DR Update on my girlfriend giving me an ultimatum regarding a friend group trip.


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