Husband (40) went out of his way to make a specific promise, and is now taking it back like it never happened.

We?ve been married 20+ years (40M 40F) but for backstory a few years ago he had a mental break down and we were separated for a few months.
During that time he rallied his family against me, assured them I was the reason for all of his stress and problems etc. One of his aunts in particular used this separation period to attack me. Sending me hateful texts and even dragging my kids thru the mud and causing strain and stress with them. This was years ago but this past Christmas I saw her in the store and she glared at me with the most evil and disgusting smirk. So her feelings haven?t changed much despite the fact that my husband has since come clean with his family and corrected the many lies years ago.
Some of them still want to blame me and do. Even when he has flat out said ?I lied about this to cover my ass, I blamed my spouse to get away with things? they have chosen years later to continue to blame me and talk bad about me. My life was changed by that period of time and he did not come out with the trauma I did which I do resent him for.
The day I saw her in the store I told my husband it was uncomfortable and reminded me of very painful times. He made a huge show of telling me that he will be cordial at family functions but after what she has said and done to me, he wouldn?t want to hang out with her one on one. He went out of his way to say that. Made a huge show of it and was very loving at the time.
Cut to yesterday, she texts him and asks him to come to a movie date at her house. Just him and her. He said sure!
His defense is that he doesn?t remember ever telling me he wouldn?t spend time with them. Which seems unbelievable at this point after the huge effort that he had made to say otherwise.
Regardless of what was said before, what I am saying now is ?if you go and hang out with someone who clearly despises me, that is the same to me as you approving of their treatment of me.? And he finds this to be crazy.
I know his ****ed up family. She is absolutely doing this to worm her way into our lives and now that he?s accepted, to me that gives them an in into our lives again. The opposite of protecting me.
I didn?t go into all that happened during our separation, because it hurts too much. But at that time he was off his bipolar meds, legitimately crazy, and caused a lot of trauma I?m dealing with to this day.
Am I absolutely crazy for feeling so unbelievably hurt over this? I wanted him to support me and stand by me. Loyalty matters to me, especially considering past actions.
This is the one time in over two decades I?ve ever said please don?t do something, and he doesn?t care at all. Before this I truly believed that he was sorry for past actions and fixing it as he was able, but now? I feel like an idiot and been told I?m crazy and my feelings aren?t valid. It?s starting to make me feel like I?m crazy.
Is it wrong to expect to be chosen over a crusty old drunk aunt that has been previously toxic to our family?
Edit- as I typed this I felt incredibly stupid! It?s not the event that I am hurt over. It?s what it symbolizes. Being buddy buddy with someone that wouldn?t hand me water if I was on fire. More so being buddy buddy with one of the people that set me on fire doesn?t feel loving and supportive.
TLDR- husband is doing a movie date with someone that has treated me like garbage. Is asking for loyalty in a 24 year relationship ridiculous?


Source.