I’m Lily Madwhip and Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong

I’m Lily Madwhip and things have gone terribly wrong.
Destroy is a heavy word. Can you imagine being ten years old and some random woman who surrounds herself with creepy monster people says she’s going to destroy you? I mean, kill is one thing. But destroy? It reminds me of when my parents and Roger and I went to a Thanksgiving party that my mom’s company was putting on and Charlie Butterman, the CEO’s son ate so much of the turkey that Mom said he demolished it. The visual you may get is of a turkey stripped of all the meat, but it was even worse than that. Charlie was a wrecking ball-- a turkey-consuming wrecking ball.
So when Hekate tells me she’s going to destroy me, all I can imagine is her jumping on me and tearing me apart like Charlie Butterman on a Thanksgiving turkey. Bones and Lily bits everywhere.
“But I’m only ten years old!†I yell and make my eyes water a bit. It’s a cheap tactic I know, but it usually works on adults.
Hekate does not look the least bit bothered by my tears. “Oh please,†she says, waving her hand at me like my father does when I tell him I’m too full to eat the green beans on my plate, “do you really think crying is going to sway me? Do you know how many like you I’ve dealt with in my years?†Jeez, she asks a lot of questions.
“Thirty eight?†I guess.
She smirks at me. “Eleven.â€
“Oh.†For some reason I thought it would be higher. I don’t know why she’d smirk at me for her number being lower than my guess.
“May I eat her, Mother?†hisses someone. It’s a lady sitting at the foot of Hekate’s chair. She’s dressed in a black gown kind of like the bogeywoman’s, and she wiggles around like she’s uncomfortable. No, I guess the word would be writhes. She writhes around on the steps in front of Hekate, who apparently is her mom. It takes me a moment to realize that the lady’s legs aren’t simply weird and unnaturally curvy, they’re a single leg. In fact, it’s not a leg at all, it’s a scaly-looking tail like a giant snake. She’s got a snake butt. I almost laugh when I think that. From now on, she will be known as Snakebutt.
Snakebutt is facing me, but I can’t tell if she’s looking at me because she’s got no eyes, just a pair of dark, empty sockets. Her mouth is hanging open and I can see a pair of rather long, pointy fangs sticking out, and beyond them another row of teeth, kind of like a shark. Yikes. She is the complete package if you ordered “Nightmare Babysitter†from Sears. My parents always say if you leave your mouth hanging open, a fly will get in. Something about Snakebutt makes me think she’d enjoy that.
“Of course you can’t eat her,†Hekate smacks the woman on the top of her head. Snakebutt flinches and snarls for a second like a cornered dog. “Why do you always ask if you can eat them? I know it’s been over sixteen hundred seasons since one was last before us, but the rules haven’t changed.†Hekate looks at me and tries to smile but she’s clearly not any good at it. “We are not uncivilized here at the crossroads.â€
Uncivilized? Lady, your daughter has a snake butt. I don’t want to say what that implies you did with a snake, but if somebody was caught doing it at the zoo, I don’t think the word “civilized†would come up in the police report.
“Why can’t we just leave each other alone?†I ask. “I didn’t want any of this, I just want to go to school, play with Simone, come home, practice drums, talk to Paschar, have dinner...†I’m leaving a lot of stuff out, but none of it involved going in my closet and getting messed up with monster people.
Hekate clicks her tongue at me dismissively. “The prophecy states that the only--â€
No way, a prophecy? “There’s a prophecy?†I ask excitedly.
“Yes, now don’t interrupt.â€
“Sorry.†Oh man, I’m part of a prophecy. Eeee!
“The prophecy--†she waits a moment, looking at me like she expects me to interrupt again, but I know better. “--states that the only way for my reign here at the crossroads to end is for my life to be taken by the knife that cuts the veil.â€
Thaaaaat’s me. Gulp.
“You see, long ago when my people flourished in the old country, the crossroads came to be, creating the veil that separated mortals from immortals. Some of those separated by the veil tried several times to end me. Always they failed.â€
Wait a second... am I getting a history lesson? I just came from school, I don’t need this.
The people around Hekate nod as she talks, except for Snakebutt who hangs her head like she’s heard the story a hundred times. Or, maybe even a thousand times. She seems to sense me staring and winks an empty eye socket, then licks her lips. For some reason, I can’t help but wonder how snakes go to the bathroom.
“When they found that brute force was inadequate, they decided to use their limited wits. A hundred years went by before they had trained another to confront me. For their impudence, I cut him into little pieces and scattered them across the land; then my darlings salted the ground where his bits were buried so he could not even fertilize the Earth.â€
That sounds a bit excessive. I look at the stone tiling on the floor. Some of the stones are polished and dark, others are lighter but dull. Maybe this place was the inspiration for the checkerboard? I used to play checkers with my dad, but he told me my strategy of knocking the board over and storming off when I lost wasn’t allowed, so we played Pop-O-Matic Trouble instead.
“Are you listening?†I look up. Hekate is glaring at me. The black dog at her side curls its lips back to bare its nasty teeth.
“I understood the part where you cut the guy up and salted his bits, but the rest of what you just said made no sense to me.†I can’t look her in the eyes, so I play with my fingers and look at them and pray quietly that she doesn’t just walk up and tear my head off. Please, Paschar, if you can hear me, save me.
“Oh for the love of--†the bogeywoman steps down from beside her mother’s seat. “Look, little girl, long before you were born, or your grandparents or their grandparents or anyone even closely related to you, my mother was destined to live here at the crossroads between life and afterlife. But those beings --your “angelsâ€-- on the one side of the veil didn’t like being separated from the rest of you, so they started plotting a way to break the divide.†she pauses and looks at me with her hands out in that, “Do you follow what I’m saying?†kind of way that teachers like to do after they’ve written a math problem up on the board and nobody raises their hand to solve it.
“Okay.†I say, though really this is still only making partial sense to me. Why would the angels want to get rid of the veil? We had a neighbor once, Mr. Barkley, and he didn’t have any curtains on his windows. Or shades. So everybody walking by or driving by no matter the time could just look in and see Mr. Barkley walking around his house eating his dinner and staring at the TV and doing his business. I can’t imagine every day having anybody who wanted to be able to just look in and watch you eat or sit in your underwear and watch TV, which apparently Mr. Barkley did a lot. Like a lot a lot.
The bogeywoman sighs with a little relief. I guess she’s not really a bogeywoman, but at this point I can’t remember the name she told me when she first stepped out of my closet. It started with an ‘O’ I think. Ohno-something.
“Your angels have been training you to break through the veil so that they can coexist among you once again,†Ohno says.
“And that’s... bad?†I ask. Would that make Heaven an actual place we could go I wonder? I heard a song once called Heaven is a Place on Earth. I didn’t think it was literal, but maybe once long ago Heaven and Hell were actual places you could visit. I know my dad thinks Hell exists on Earth because I’ve heard him talk about Columbus, Ohio.
Hekate stands up from her chair. Her raven hair is floating in the air like there’s some sort of fan behind her blowing on her. Nobody else’s hair is reacting to it. Oh my God, she has magic hair. That is so cool. I can’t help but quietly go “oooo...†as I watch.
“The crossroads is the wall separating you and them, do you not understand?†she sounds kind of angry. Snakebutt grins all her rows of teeth and claps her hands excitedly. I get the bad sense that the whole “destroying me†thing is about to go down and I once again picture Charlie Butterman demolishing an entire turkey. Here comes the wrecking ball... woo woo! No wait, that’s a train. What sound does a wrecking ball make? Uh... woosh, I guess.
“When you punch a hole in the wall, you are destroying that wall!â€
She floats down the steps from her chair and I realize her feet aren’t even touching the floor. She’s literally floating. When I said she floats down the steps I meant it in just the delicate way she moved, but no, she’s actually floating. With frightening speed, she crosses the room and gets right up in my face, making me flinch. Instinctively I tense up further, expecting to get punched in the arm for it, but I don’t think they play that game here. Only Roger ever seemed to play two for flinching.
Hekate grabs my wrist. Her hand is really cold. I start to tell her that, but she pulls me away from the rest of the group, none of whom rise to join us. They just sit there in their stone chairs in their checkerboard room and watch us go. I guess they know not to follow. Or maybe it’s pretty gruesome when she destroys people. Oh God, why’d I think that? My knees feel like jelly, and I trip as she pulls me. I start to cry for real.
“What on Earth are you doing?†Hekate asks, more with annoyance than rage.
I sniffle. “I don’t want to be destroyed like a turkey!â€
“What?â€
“I don’t--†I grab my arm and start pulling to try to get out of her grip. “Uhn! --want to get-- erg! --destroyed!†Wow, she’s... she’s got a pretty solid hold there. Once when I was six... or maybe it was seven... my dad took Roger and I to a water park. Roger and I had a blast and we swam and slid down water slides for hours. We also got so cooked from the sun that I would scream whenever I was out of the water. I was afraid to go home because I knew the moment I got out of the pool it would burn, but my dad insisted because the park was going to close soon, so he ended up physically dragging me out of the water and back to the car. I remember his grip on my arm felt like iron. Well, now I think maybe it was more like a softer metal. Maybe gold? Gold’s supposed to be pretty soft, although it’s also heavy. Yeah, that sounds like my dad, soft and heavy. But Hekate, she’s got an iron grip that puts my dad’s to shame.
Hekate continues to drag me across the stoney, checkerboard floor and out of the room, back into the twisty, turny hall of hallways that Ohno and I came from originally. I try to stand again but she’s floating so fast I can’t even get a foot up. My arm starts to hurt from all my weight hanging on it. I only weigh around sixty pounds, but it still feels like my arm is probably going to rip off entirely and then she’s going to float on without noticing that I’m laying on the floor bleeding to death.
“Can we --ugh-- stop a moment?†I beg. Some of her long, fantastic, magic hair whips me in the face and I don’t know whether to be bothered by it or honored. Who gets slapped in the face with magic hair these days? Just me. Just Lily Madwhip, that’s who.
“I want you to see what you’ve done already.â€
“I haven’t done anything!†I yell, “I just got here!â€
This place is dark and dreary despite the torches, but the doors we pass are everything from butt ugly metal doors you’d find in the back of a grocery store freezer to majestic, polished wood covered with bronze work in swirly patterns and leaves. I want to tug myself free and try them all. I want to see if there’s a door that takes me to Australia. I bet you can tell the Australian doors from the regular doors because they’re upside down.
Hekate turns a corner and I get thumped against the wall as she drags me around it. She wrenches my arm and pain shoots up to my shoulder. I can’t believe my arm is still in its socket. Arm, when we get out of this... if we get out of this, I will give you an Oreo as a reward. Three comfort Oreos. I promise.
The hallways twist again and again. How the heck does she keep track of where she is around here? Hekate keeps talking at me as she floats along. Show off. “Three seasons ago, you sundered my realm. I admit, I had gotten lax. It had been a long time since they tried. Maybe deep down I hoped that they were done, that they had accepted the veil for what it is. And then... this.â€
She throws me to the floor at her feet. My arm is screaming with pain, but to be honest, I was in a car accident last year and had some broken ribs and that was a lot worse. I can handle how raw my arm feels. Just gotta compare how bad things are to how bad they could be!
Speaking of how bad things are... the hallway ahead of me is... well, let’s just say it looks like a Godzilla-sized Charlie Butterman thought it was a Thanksgiving turkey. The floor goes from smooth and straight to torn up and up and up. The stones almost form a staircase, like a staircase if the designer was drunk maybe. There’s a wooden door with a crystal knob like the ones at Nana’s house, and it’s floating and rotating slowly in the air as if it’s drifting in outer space. Why someone would shoot a door into orbit, I don’t know. There’s broken rock and boards and they’re all defying gravity, which cheeses me off since I’m the only thing here right now that isn’t defying gravity and I kind of wish I was.
Beyond where the hallway looks Butterman’d, there’s nothing. Just nothing. It’s like an empty chalkboard. Not one of the green ones. The bits of stone and some other doors are all tumbling off like I’m looking down into a pit rather than forward into a hall, and it’s a little dizzying. Also, there’s this howling sound... not like a wolf or the wind, but kind of like when you’re at a school concert and they have the whole chorus singing Silent Night and before anyone starts clapping at the end the whole auditorium is humming a bit and you aren’t sure the song is over because it kind of sounds like people are still singing or maybe it’s your ears ringing because you’re standing next to the shrillest girl in the whole class (guess who that is? cough LISA WELCH cough).
“Look what you did.†Hekate says in the same tone my mother uses when she finds chewed gum stuck under the sofa cushions. I wonder if they teach classes to prospective moms on how to perfect that tone of voice?
“I didn’t do this,†is all I can think to say. To be fair, I don’t understand how I could have done it. I wasn’t even in this place.
Hekate floats past me and hovers in the middle of the mess with her arms out. “Three seasons ago, did you not attempt to bring someone back from the other side?â€
I have to think about that. Did I? A lot happened-- how long ago is three seasons anyway? She must be talking about when I had to deal with all the angels and their mucked up destinies. I don’t recall trying to bring anyone back from... wherever. There was Officer Flowers, but she was dead and stayed dead. The only other time I had anything to do with dead people was when--
oh.
“Do you mean Roger?†That’s right, Samael tried to convince me to save Roger from getting turned into mashed potatoes. He even sent me back somehow to stop the car crash from happening. But I didn’t. “That wasn’t me.†I tell her.
“It was you, you filthy, little liar.†She glares at me, and she’s got a heck of a glare, I’ll give her that. Her stare would probably make any other little kid wet their pants. Me, I can glare back though, so I do. Hard. Not as hard, because I think she’s got a lot more years experience.
“Samael did that.†I grit my teeth to try to look mean. “And I refused to go through with it.â€
“Lies!†Hekate screams. She floats at me like a horrible banshee. That’s an Irish ghost, I think I’ve explained this before. Grabbing my arm again, I feel her lift me off my feet.
She hisses in my ear, “Maybe I shall teach you what it’s like to see your world torn apart,†and next thing I know I’m being tossed like a doll into the nothing beyond the Butterman’d hallway.
Ohhhhh God, I’m falling through space. I can see Hekate watching me go every time I spin back around. My tummy is in a huge knot. I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast but I think I’m about to get a reminder.
Hekate watches silently, her face full of anger. Eventually, she turns and floats off out of sight. I keep falling... or floating. I said I wanted to float earlier, but I changed my mind. I want to go back to the hallway and talk this out. I hope Nurse Halifax remembers me soon. I wonder if they can send a search party into my closet, like in this one movie I saw where ghosts kidnapped a little girl into their ghost dimension and her mom went after her through the closet with a rope tied to her. That was a scary movie, but Paschar told me that sort of stuff doesn’t happen in real life. Oh yeah, Paschar? OH YEAH?
The tumbling goes on until I can’t see the light of the torches back in the hallway. Everything is dark and silent. I think about humming to myself to keep from going crazy, but I can’t think of a good song to hum while falling through space forever. Maybe Crazy Train.
Suddenly, I hit something hard. Like I hit hard, and the something was hard. I still only see darkness, but a moment later I hear the sound of someone’s footsteps clopping on tiled floor and then there’s a jiggle of a knob and a creaking sound and-- light! Oh, I’m on the floor. And this is the nurse’s room at school. And there’s Nurse Halifax, looking down at me on the floor. Hi, Nurse Halifax. I smile because I’m so glad to see her. Unless this is a hallucination brought on by my dying brain. I read that when you’re dying, you see things like your whole life, or a tunnel of light, or sometimes you just imagine things.
“Are you alright, Lily?†she asks, bending down and offering me a hand.
“I--†I’m not sure what to say. “--had a bad dream?â€
She helps me up and brushes me off even though that’s not necessary. My arms still work. I can brush myself off, thank you.
So what just happened? Was I really dreaming? Am I dreaming now? I pinch myself like they always say to do and yeah that hurts.
Nurse Halifax gives me a look. “All rested? Do you think you can get to class by yourself?â€
“Yeah, but...â€
“What is it, dear?â€
“My arm hurts.†It does hurt. A lot. There’s a burning sensation in my shoulder. I don’t know if I got dragged by my arm by a woman with magic hair or if I twisted my arm when falling out of bed.
Nurse Halifax takes my hand and turns my arm over. There on my wrist, the skin is red and angry-looking. Once, I was helping my dad make spaghetti and I grabbed a pot off the stove without wearing oven mitts. Always wear oven mitts. Trust me. I got burned and dropped the spaghetti sauce all over the floor. Dad rinsed my hands off, but even after we put stuff on them, the skin was red and angry just like it is on my wrist. There’s a pattern to the burn, almost like I got branded. It looks like a circle with a squiggly line inside it and a pointy star in the center.
“What on Earth is this?†she asks, “Did somebody do this to you?â€
“I don’t know,†I lie. Hekate did this. She marked me. It wasn’t a dream.
I try to get through the rest of school without having a panic attack. Nurse Halifax has wrapped my wrist up in some bandages after putting some of the same ointment my dad used on the burn. It smells kind of like a jungle. I think. I’ve never been to the jungle, but it’s definitely got an odor like I would imagine the jungle smells like. Like tigers and big, wet fronds.
Simone sees the bandages on my arm and asks me what happened. I tell her that I burned myself at breakfast. She’s impressed that I cook my own breakfast. I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast. The rest of the school day goes by in a haze. I think I answered a math problem. Maybe even two. We had music class and the teacher Ms. Patty had us sing some pop song but I couldn’t focus so I just mouthed the words to a different song and pretended to sing. All I keep thinking about is that lady Hekate and her daughter Snakebutt and her other daughter Ohno and all those people sitting in that empty throne room in the dark in an endless hallway full of closet doors. In my mind, their faces are all twisted and warped like Ohno did with hers, their eyes melting down their cheeks and their mouths splitting at weird angles and lots of little teeth inside. They’re all looking at me in my mind, all grinning at me, except Hekate, who’s angry, and her beautiful, magic hair is waving around like the Little Mermaid’s, except she’s not underwater. Are they there now, watching me?
I’m on the bus home, looking out the window at imaginary people on the sidewalk whose faces are melting like wax, my arm screaming with pain from the burn. I don’t know what’s going on, and I need to talk to Paschar.
He’s waiting in my room when I get home. I don’t even yell to Dad to let him know I’m here, I just run straight upstairs and pick up Paschar from the art table. He hasn’t painted anything, but I know he could paint anything if he wanted.
Lily, he says in my head, What happened? I sensed you at school, and then it was like you were just... gone.
“I saw her, Paschar,†I say, “The woman Roger warned me about. She lives in the veil.â€
That’s not possible, Lily. The veil is not a place.
“I went there. That’s why you couldn’t sense me. I was in the veil. It’s like a maze. They have doors to everywhere. I think. They have a lot of doors, that’s for sure.â€
A labyrinth.
“Yeah, like the minotaur.†I peel the bandages off my arm and show him the burn. “Look, I think she marked me.â€
I don’t see anything.
I look at the raised, sore red circular mark with its squiggly line and star. “Right-- right here. On my wrist.â€
I believe you, but I can’t see it, Lily. I’m sorry. Whatever it is, it’s beyond me.
I turn and look over my shoulder at the sound of a door creaking... it’s the closet. Oh no, it might be Ohno. Quickly, I run over and pile some toys up in front of it. And LEGOs, strew LEGOs all over the floor so she steps on them if she tries to come in here, because she doesn’t wear any shoes. And my bookshelf! I push my bookshelf, but it’s full of books and it’s heavy. Okay, no bookshelf. Something else?
“What are you doing?â€
My dad is standing in the doorway to my room, watching me try to pull my dresser over to block the closet door. It’s too heavy though, probably heavier than the bookshelf. Dang it.
“I’m trying to keep the bogeyman from coming out of my closet.†I explain.
“Oh, okay,†Dad’s face takes on that expression he gets whenever I try to tell him about angels or ghosts. You know, the one that says, “I had two kids and this is the one that lived?†I’m used to it. Just like he’s used to me doing stuff like this regularly.
“Well, come downstairs and get your homework done. I’ve got to leave for work. I put all the stuff for dinner in the microwave, you just have to heat it up when you’re hungry, okay?†He turns to leave.
What?
“What do you mean you have to go to work?†I ask.
Dad stops and turns around. I only just now notice that he’s wearing some sort of suit.It’s like a dark gray sports coat and a white shirt. He’s even got a black tie on. My dad never wears ties. Except at Roger’s funeral. Even Roger wore a tie to that.
“I’ll be back after you’re asleep, as usual.â€
“Where are you going?†What does he mean as usual?
“I don’t have time for games, Lily. Come do your homework and give me a hug. I’ll check on you when I get home.†He opens his arms for a hug. I walk up and hug him, but I’m so confused. My dad hasn’t had a job since Roger was born. Not one he had to dress up for and go out at night to do anyway. His job has been taking care of us and, lately, writing dirges. And playing in the band when they have a gig, but that’s usually only around holidays.
Dad kisses me on the top of the head, ruffles my hair, and then turns again and walks out of the room. I hear him go downstairs whistling a tune and a minute later comes the sound of the front door shutting, his car being started, and him driving away.
I’m still standing in my room, holding my doll, staring at the empty doorway.
“Paschar, where did my dad just go?†I ask.
To his job at the hotel, he says, What’s wrong, Lily? Somethineems off...
There’s a lump in my throat. “When is my mom coming home?â€
Lily, what’s going on? Paschar sounds concerned. I don’t like it when Paschar sounds concerned. Roger and your mother passed away in a car crash over a year ago. Do you remember the crash?
“Not her,†I whisper. The bottom falls out of my stomach and I’m tumbling through space again. My wrist flares up with pain, and I clutch it, dropping Paschar. I can hear that howling again, the one that was coming from the darkness beyond Hekate’s ruined hallway. It doesn’t sound like children singing though, it sounds like laughter... like a dark, torch-lit room of people with shark grins laughing as they watch their ruler destroy my life piece by piece.
“Not her.â€


Source.