[UPDATE] My [28/M] fiance [28/M] came clean about emotionally cheating on me with a mutual friend [25/F]. What's the best way for us to all deal?

Original
Hi guys! It's been a while. God, almost two years? I've always wanted to do an update to this, but felt it wouldn't be appropriate until I waited a while to see if it all worked out (also lol I couldn't remember my username and couldn't find the old post whoops). Didn't want to count my chickens before they hatched, y'know? I know the original wasn't the most popular thing in the world, but maybe this will be helpful to someone.
So I took a lot of solace in that it looked like I was going the right track... except that I was kind of nervous telling John to cut contact with Ellen. I knew it was right, but I felt weird making that kind of demand -- especially since she had been a friend for so long and in a weird way I sympathized with her. I put it in the back of my head as a sort of "well, if she treats me like **** or if they look to be getting too close again, that's going to be my last straw." Kind of cowardly, but eh.
I got a lot more blunt about her though. Since he was more open with me and shared chat logs, I saw Ellen was doing.. weird ****. Stuff like insinuating she'd hurt herself if he cut contact, or that "if [she] went down, [she's] taking as many people with [her] as [she] can". I also was very honest in how she treated me like **** throughout the duration of our "friendship," and she only seemed kind to me when she wanted something (he himself later noted it was extremely ****ed up that I had been emotionally supporting both of them while they were both essentially stabbing me in the back).
I told him that it was, at best, a toxic friendship, and at worst she was skirting towards emotional abuse. I've been through an emotionally abusive relationship before, and I told him a lot of the warning signs. I distanced myself from her at this point -- she REFUSED therapy, and considering how she treated me (and him, despite claiming to love him) I had no tolerance for being someone's pocket counselor. If you can't even pay me in being a good friend, I don't owe you ****.
I wound up showing John the post I made here. He read over it, took it in... and I don't know if it had anything to do with his decision, but: he came home for Christmas and told me he was going to do a no-contact "trial run" over the winter break. He made this decision on his own, which definitely made me happy -- not just because of the whole infidelity thing, but because she was kind of a ****head. He spent a week apart from her, and it more or less shattered his rose-tinted glasses. When he returned she essentially said she got sexually involved with nazis, and that it was his fault because he wasn't around to stop her (???). He blocked her, severing contact permanently. I followed suit.
Almost two years later:

• We're still in no contact with her, despite the fact that she's been sending e-mails, Facebook messages, and even tried to hunt us down in an MMO we both played. It's a little creepy.
• He went into therapy, and found out it was REALLY helpful. He continued to go even after things mostly recovered between us.
• We're not LDR anymore -- he finished up college and he's been home for over a year now. We're still engaged -- we've agreed that he needs steady employment first before we're gonna take that jump!
• Our relationship is a lot better, he's put a lot more work into it. Grass is greener when you water it! He worked to earn my trust back.
• He's been much, MUCH better about transparency and setting boundaries. If someone presses him or tries to lean on him emotionally in a way that's uncomfortable, he shuts that **** down and tells me immediately.
• He and I still have open and honest dialogues about what happened. We won't let it just be swept under the rug. He feels guilty and disgusted about what he did to this day. I've forgiven him, but I've made it clear that despite Ellen being a ****head it wasn't her fault and I will not tolerate this sort of betrayal a second time.
• While I've forgiven him, I still wake up sometimes angry at Ellen. I know the infidelity wasn't her fault, but... it's weird. I'm angry over how I tolerated her treatment of me for so long, and because she claimed to love John despite treating him like ****. Like, if you're gonna have a secret relationship behind my back, at least treat my guy right goddammit!

So I guess.. I dunno. From reading about other cases of infidelity, it seems like to get it to work the cheater HAS to be honest with you. They have to come clean to you, and they have to accept fault. If they blame you take it as a dumptruck of red flags. 'cause that **** ain't your fault. When I'm sometimes rationalizing the infidelity, or thinking I overreacted John will tell me straight-up that I'm being too nice about it, and that my anger was (and still is) justified. On one hand I hate that my loved one still feels guilt, but on the other I'm kind of glad because it's made it easier to trust him not to **** up again.
I know it's not common for these types of stories to end well, and maybe **** will change in 5 years down the line... but I'm happy with him.
tl;dr: Two years later, we're still together and I feel confident saying we've recovered from his infidelity. He's taken active steps to earn my trust back. He did a **** move and knows this. I'm glad I didn't have to lose my best friend and partner. I'm overall happy with life.


Source.

Is she still talking.....?