My (26f) husband (29m) told me that he could never love an adopted child as much as a biological one, causing a slew of issues. Now he says it was all a joke/ ploy to get me to give up.

We have been together 3 years, married for one. I told him that I always wanted to foster and ultimately adopt children. Its literally one of my biggest dreams. I think I even shared it on our first date. Basically, adoption= big ****ing deal to me. He acted like he was totally on board and I was excited to find a partner who shared my excitement.
After we got married his views switched. He told me that he would never foster before having biological children, which sucked cause I dont want biological children for at least 5 years. More importantly, he said that he would never love an adopted child as much as a biological one and he'd always have a stronger bond with a biological child and view them differently. His explanation for this was that he was adopted by his stepfather and always felt more connected to his (biological) mother so it must be impossible for it to be any differently.
We had so many hours long conversations about this because I was crushed. Im obviously not gonna adopt a child knowing that my husband holds these views. I was seriously upset and just dropped the issue because I figured it was just a goal I wouldnt ever reach now. We quit talking about it because there was no solution. His mind was made up and my dream was dead.
I have been depressed about this. It has caused serious issues in our marriage. Which brings us to last night.
Someone on tv mentioned adoption and I said that it sucks that we would never get to do that. He asked why and I told him it wouldnt be fair to adopt when he views it the way he does.
First he said he was just young and stupid and thats why he held those views in the past (meaning 4 months ago). I pressed him to tell me what his views are now because I was confused about the switch. He then claimed, I **** you not, that he was just joking during all those conversations. He acted like I was the silly one for believing he was serious.
I reminded him how many lengthy conversations we had about it and I was in no way buying it that he was just joking.
So he says "I figured that you were so concerned about childbirth wrecking your body that you would adopt some kids and then decide that you didn't want any biological ones, and then I wouldnt get what I want (meaning a biological child). So I just told you that so that you would drop it."
For the record, I have never been remotely concerned about childbirth "wrecking my body". No idea where that came from. I do want biological children.
Then he added, "I guess I didnt communicate the fact that I was just joking well enough at the time, so Im sorry."
It feels so manipulative. He said something ****ed up to get me to give up on my dream. It worked. Now it was all a joke. I dont even know what to make of what he's saying now, cause either he was joking or manipulating me; it can't be both. And it feels like a bull**** apology for the amount of resentment and pain this "joke" caused. What do you think is happening, cause I can't ****ing figure it out? Am I justified in being super confused?
Tl;dr: Husband changed his opinion on adoption after we married, which prompted me to give up the idea that it would ever happen. Now hes saying he did it on purpose/ it was just a joke.


Source.