In a great romance, each person plays
a part the other really likes. -
Elizabeth Ashley
Many a man owes his success to his
first wife and his second wife to
his success. - Jim Backus No man should marry until he has
studied anatomy and dissected at
least one woman. - Honore de Balzac
Honeymoon: A short period of doting
between dating and debting. - Ray
Bandy Marriage is low down, but you spend
the rest of your life paying for
it. - Baskins
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth
husband. I know what I'm supposed
to do, but I don't know how to make it
interesting. - Milton Berle, when
called to the microphone at the 2nd
Annual Comedians Hall of Fame
Inductions
Love: a temporary insanity often curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
The world has suffered more from the
ravages of ill-advised marriages
than from virginity. - Ambrose Bierce
I recently read that love is entirely a
matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic
waste. - David Bissonette
Ah Mozart! He was happily married -
but his wife wasn't. - Borge
In the blithe days of honeymoon, With
Kate's allurements smitten, I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon, And
call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat, And
cross like other wives. O! By my
soul my honest Mat, I fear she has nine
lives. - James Boswell "Life of Johnson"
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife
is a wine bottle. -
Boudelaire
For a male and female to live
continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural
condition. - Robert Briffault
My mother-in-law broke up my
marriage. My wife came home from
work one
day and found me in bed with her. - Lenny Bruce
Never tell. Not if you love your wife...
In fact, if your old lady
walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat
out and she'll believe it:
"I'm tellin' ya." This chick came downstairs with a sign around her
neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I
didn't know what I was gonna
do..." - Lenny Bruce
Insurance is like marriage. You pay,
pay, pay, and you never get anything back. - Al Bundy
Nothing says lovin' like marrying your
cousin! - Al Bundy
Once a boy becomes a man, he's a
man all his life, but a woman is only
sexy until she becomes your wife. - Al Bundy
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't
marry. - Chekhov
Marriage is an adventure, like going to
war. - G. K. Chesterton
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
gets the more interested he is in her. -
Agatha Christie
The most happy marriage I can
imagine to myself would be the union
of a deaf man to a blind woman. - S. T.
Coleridge