I (24F) feel like a hostage every time I hang out or want to see my boyfriend (27M). How do I navigate this?

The title is a bit dramatic but recently it is really the way that I?ve been feeling.
We?ve been together for around 9 months. We spend a LOT of time together, think seeing each other minimum 5 days a week, we live 5 minutes away from each other. We go to a lot of concerts, raves, the beach, etc. We do lots together all the time. We also love to just chill at home and talk and hang out. Most of these days I?m spending 8+ hours with him. I get home at 1 or 2 in the morning, sometimes even like 5 or 6 am because I?ll spend the night before he leaves for work in the morning. I love spending time with him, I don?t get tired of him, he is great to be around, go on trips with, no issues.
I have recently smoothed over a lot of family conflict I have been dealing with for many years and I am learning to live and be around them again. I really enjoy their company and time now and I have been making a huge effort to pour back into my family, and doing that means spending a lot of time with them.
It has been an ongoing issue in our relationship that my boyfriend thinks I don?t spend enough time with him or that I don?t want to. He makes it a problem if I spent all morning and afternoon with him and I would like to be home for family dinner, or if I got to his place at 3pm and we were gone out all night until 2 or 3 in the morning, that when we get back I want to go home to my place.
There are and have been A LOT of times where we have spent all of Thursday together, all of Friday, all of Saturday (didn?t even go home Friday, I spent the night), and I don?t go home until Saturday night.
I can?t do that to my family. They are traditional middle eastern, it?s just not appropriate, and I also don?t really want to spend days on end like that, where I don?t have my things, I?m not prepared to spend 3-4 days with him, I barely brush my teeth, I don?t eat well, etc. It?s not even real quality time when we do this it?s just spending time with each other. And it?s not planned it?s just him not wanting me to leave. We can?t see to just go out for a couple hours, come back and hang out and then I go home and it be cool. It always has to be an all day all night thing.
We don?t really go on dates anymore or do things I like to do. It?s pretty much just going to raves he wants to go to and the beach town because he really likes a restaurant there and one specific beach. I have tried to get us to go to museums, hikes, paint, even make Kandi for when we go to shows and he says yeah let?s do it and that?s the end of it.
The past few months he gets upset when I tell him I can be at his place at for ex. 7:30pm and he asks ?why can?t you come earlier? or ?why so late? and I have to then explain to him why I can?t come earlier and basically justify it. A couple days ago I was sick and my brother was coming home for the weekend after I hadn?t seen him for nearly a month. He had asked me to help him with his car when he got home (it had to be done that night for an early morning appt). And I told my bf I might be able to come once I?m done, which would be like 10:30-11 at night on a Wednesday night. And he asked me ?why do you have to help him?? And like 3 different questions and I had to justify why I was taking the time to help my brother instead of coming over to see him.
And then the next night we went to a rave and he was so standoffish the whole night and started coming at me about how I don?t want him and I don?t initiate and I don?t want to spend time with him and that he had a really rough day and week and just wanted to see me and spend time with me. And I felt like **** when he told me that. Since I met him I have given him so much of my time and energy. More than I really have to give at this point in my life but I do it anyway because that?s just who I am.
And when I want to leave his place to go home or just be with my family (especially after I just laid in his bed for 5 hours doing nothing and watching shows) he pouts or gets distant all of a sudden and will barely kiss me goodbye or he will grab me and hold me so I can?t move and just say ?a few more minutes?. When I had already been trying to leave the last 30 minutes.
And now it?s pretty much every time that when I want to see him or want to leave he just ruins the mood. And then we end up arguing and I keep having to justify everything I do with my family. I don?t even spend time with my friends anymore, and I quit jujitsu to have more time for him and because he didn?t like my friends there. It?s just my family and him that I spend time with.
I spent all afternoon today with him and I told him I wanted to go home for dinner since I hadn?t been home for dinner in 4 days. And he?s asking if I?m going to come back now and stay the night. And he knows I?m still really sick and I have to be up early. He hasn?t even done anything to help me while I?m sick and I?ve been sick since Sunday.
I?ve tried talking to him about it and he says he understands but he still does this to me. What can I say to him to make him stop this? Why is he doing this? It feels really controlling and unhealthy. I think most couples only see each other like once or twice a week so I feel like we shouldn?t have this problem.
TL;DR : I spend a LOT of time with my boyfriend (sometimes days on end) and it?s not enough for him and he gives me **** for it. I don?t have any more left to give him. What do I even do?


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