You are 18 now and have loved him for 6 years. So that makes you 12. You would have to have known him for a little while to fall in love with him so lets say it was when you were 11. You make the comment that he thought of you as just a kid. Because you were a kid. It sounds like a very strange relationship and anyone who obsesses over a guy much older from age 11 must have some very weird things going on inside her head.

Which is a shame because you are a pretty girl. But who am I to judge so I wish only good things for you. Sorry this situation has caused you hurt or sadness.