In a previous thread abt dating a single mom a gentleman said "most men want to feel wanted and needed and that they wear the pants in a relationship and when there is a tug of war with those things the mans ego will bail 9 out of 10 times". I can't get that outta my mind, do most men feel this way? I am a single mom of three I have been with my kid since birth and feel that no one will be able to know and understand the absolute uniqueness of them as I do. I wldnt be dating a man whos judgement I did not absolutely respect, and I wld welcome sharing my kids and wld listen to everything he said but ultimately decisions involving my kids wld fall to me....and btw if I were with a dad it wld be visa versa... y'alls thoughts?

Ultimatly yes the man is supposed to wear the pants perfect order god,man,woman but n todays day n age it so hard to follow that model with broken homes,stepkids technolagy etc etc great topic

I personally say yes, alot of men are intimidated by sharing, someone being in more charge then them. Everyone knows children come first, some men and /or women cant handle that. Its a lot of responsiblity. A step parent has to EARN ur childs love and affection, so they'll never have the inconditional love u share with ur child. U have to be a strong person to love and accept someone elses kids, but if u truely love ur partner it should jus come naturally.

@Elhefe: ur right..it SHOULD be that way, and truthfully I wld be thrilled to have that, but this is not perfect world and the thought of a person feeling like there was a tug of war over someone elses kids just had to be discussed...I wld never allow any child to feel tugged...his, mine or ours. was wondering how others kept this from happening.

I have not kept it from happening my 2 oldest never accepted there step mom i had alot of issues with that ultimatly how i handled it was divorce i would love to hear some success stories on this topic

Actually i have a success story....my youngests dad and i lived together for yrs...i already had my oldest two...not sure why, it was never a concious thought process but he never made any feel different and although we presented a united front, behind closed doors if we strongly disagreed and I really felt he was wrong I wld explain why and request that we try it my way. when we opened the door it went as i requested....sometimes we had to go n bedroom and start from square one agin and many times he did help me see things i was missing.

United front is the key i belive, if there is disagreement take it away from kids ty ladawn

@Elhefe: he and i are still good friends and still meet for brkfst or something to discuss our child so that we can present united front in both households...i was real lucky with him tho...i know that it doesnt always go smoothly...is also why my last marriage ended....I refused to let kids get caught in middle and he refused to respect that I was mom first....

If i ever get married these are important issues that need to be addresed before not after marriage

@Elhefe: not only addressed but resolved...lol. I addressed em but forgot to resolve em before the i dos. ;^)~