My husband basically said he would leave or cheat if his partner had cancer and could no longer have sex

I (35F) recently saw an ugly side of my husband (35M) that I wasn't expecting.
Recently, my husband's friend (35M) "Zack" broke up with his girlfriend. He was having an incredibly hard time, so my husband invited him to our city for the weekend to take a break. When he got here, we all went to a bar to grab dinner and drinks.
Right away, Zack starts talking about what he's been going through. The main issue was his lack of physical attraction to his ex's body type (she was not fat, just somewhat thicker than the types he normally dates.) My husband tries to reassure him that attraction is important and subjective.
I let them talk for a bit but then my husband starts to take this aggressively political turn where he insisted that society is trying to tell men that attraction doesn't matter, and men "have to" be attracted to fat women etc. He keeps saying things like "personal responsibility!" and bringing up depressing anecdotes about people with disabled partners and morbid obesity and when it should be OK to leave them.
I start to argue with him a bit and asked a question like, "what about if they had a medical condition?" Zack echoed a similar question.
This just set him off even more and he angrily acted like we were ganging up on him because of his "unpopular opinion" and "society always tries to make you feel bad for this."
I'll admit that something set me off and I raised my voice. I was angry that he was trying to tell me what views I had and trying to paint me as some easily-offended snowflake. I told him I agreed with the obesity problem, because I wouldnt want anyone to see me like that if that ever happened to me, and there is some level of control. But I was upset that he kept trying to portray me as the bad guy for my negative reaction. He responded by repeatedly telling me to "stay in my lane" and telling me that's just how all guys talk.
The conversation gets worse and it becomes clear that he even thinks it's OK to leave a partner if they have cancer and can't have sex anymore. He tried to paint the opposing view as pathetic and denigrating, "those people who say you can't have sex with anyone else if your partner has cancer."
I was so disgusted that I didn't even want to talk any more. I just let them continue talking. He tried to walk it back by saying "obviously it doesn't happen right away! Not immediately after a diagnosis!" But I had nothing left to say.
You always hear about these types of guys but I didn't realize my husband was one of them. Personally, I would think that if my partner -- whom I promised to love and protect -- had cancer, then sex would be the farthest thing from my mind. I would take care of myself until they could be better again. Apparently the "in sickness and in health" thing doesn't really matter to my husband??
We get home and I try to talk to him privately while Zack is in the other room. Im trying to seek some reassurance. I am about to have a surgery (for a benign condition) this weekend, and it has been a long time since my partner took interest in me sexually as we have both been anxious about the procedure.
I asked him how long he would give me for recovery if something like that happened to me. He acted offended and just said, "what do you mean? I married you." Given the prior conversation, I just said, "but that's conditional, right?"
There was a long pause, and then he just stormed off, saying "A year!" in a flippant dismissive tone, followed up by "don't ask me stupid questions."
I basically sat there crying for a half hour after he went to bed. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch until about 7am. I came up to bed about an hour before he normally leaves for work, and he responded by getting up to turn on the bright over head light, slamming dresser drawers, and slamming the bedroom door on his way out.
I still can't even talk to him because his friend is here. He just avoids me and refuses to talk to me except for maybe one question or two. Otherwise he looks at me with disgust or makes ****ty underhanded remarks at me.
At this point, I probably won't get to talk to him until Sunday when his friend leaves. In the meantime, I have no idea if my husband will even bring me to my surgery next weekend, or help with my recovery. I dont have anyone else to drive me so I might have to take an Uber. I just get the feeling he doesn't care at all.
Right now I'm sitting at home like a ****ing loser while they go out to bars. I'm sure my husband will be focused on being a wingman for his newly single friend. On top of everything else, I'm worried he will cross boundaries with other women because he's angry with me.
I don't know why he's angry with ME, given the awful things he said. I thought I was justified in my reaction. How do I even begin to talk to him about this when I have a chance? I'm trying to resist the urge to text him.
TLDR: My husband said he supported the idea of partners leaving when the other partner has some devastating medical condition that kills sexual/physical attraction. I responded negatively and sought reassurance, but now I'm being treated like **** for questioning anything. I also have an upcoming surgery for a benign condition in about 5 days, and now I no longer know if my husband will even be there to drive me or support me.


Source.