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My (23F) boyfriend (21M) had an angry outburst and I find it hard to move on. (by Sparky)
My (23F) boyfriend (21M) had an angry outburst and I find it hard to move on.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2,5 years. He had been angry at me before, and I have been angry at him, but never in this manner.
What led up to this outburst was a night of drinking with some friends. I don?t know if the alcohol played a part in his reaction (probably), but we also went to bed late, me at around 3 and him at 4:30. At 5:30, his alarm went off on his phone. He always takes way too long to turn it off so I was a little irritated and told him to take his phone and turn the alarm off. Then the phone fell between my wardrobe and my (loft) bed. The thing is, they are screwed down to each other for stability. So, to get his phone (which didn?t stop ringing), we had to take them apart from each other.
My boyfriend didn?t want to do this anyway, as he was tired and he could sleep through it. I definitely couldn?t, so I asked him multiple times to get out of bed and grab his phone, I even had to wake him up several times. He was mad about this but I was very irritated as his phone had been ringing for half an hour now. Eventually, he did get out of bed and I did too, to grab the tools and help him. He was already angry and irritated. He couldn?t get the screwdriver to work and it fell out of his hands. He lost it. The screwdriver fell into my boxes with socks and other small clothing items. He threw these boxes out if the wardrobe, at me (not directly, but he threw them behind him, where I was standing. Then, he kicked my shoe rack, leaving it dented and unusable. He then grabbed one of the wardrobe doors and pushed it out of the way to wrong side, breaking it. He angrily walked off and went back to bed.
I was terrified. I fell to the ground and cries because of what just happened. He knows that I am especially bad at handling screaming and violence because of my past. The phone was still ringing, so I stood beside the bed and practically had to beg him to help me and please get to phone, so at least I could go back to sleep and forget about this.
He eventually came out of bed again. He couldn?t find the screwdriver anymore (because he didn?t care to look) and started trying to pull the wardrobe and the bed apart violently. This didn?t work (obviously) and I literally had to pull his hands off of the wardrobe because he wouldn?t listen to me when I asked him to stop breaking all of my furniture. He looked at me with loathing in his eyes. He finally searched for the screwdriver, and when he found it in one of the boxes (where I had told him it would probably be) he got mad at me and said: ?Was it that hard to just give it to me!??
We took the screws out and he got his phone. He turned the alarm off (finally!) and I think he started to realise what he had done. I was still crying ever since he broke the door of the wardrobe and gave up trying to talk sense into him. I went to bed. He asked me if I wanted him to leave and I said yes. This was hard for me, as I really wanted to be comforted but I knew that he couldn?t give me that and I shouldn?t let him just get away with this and pretend we?re alright.
Now, I just don?t know how to move forward. He shocked me and himself, both of us didn?t expect that he would be capable of doing getting so mad and destroying my property in the meantime. He has said sorry multiple times but I still feel bad about the situation. I haven?t seen him in real life since, as he has been in quarantine. Am I overreacting? How should I handle this situation?
TLDR My boyfriend got mad at me and destroyed some of my furniture in the process because he didn?t want to get his phone out of an unlucky spot and he was tired.
Source.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2,5 years. He had been angry at me before, and I have been angry at him, but never in this manner.
What led up to this outburst was a night of drinking with some friends. I don?t know if the alcohol played a part in his reaction (probably), but we also went to bed late, me at around 3 and him at 4:30. At 5:30, his alarm went off on his phone. He always takes way too long to turn it off so I was a little irritated and told him to take his phone and turn the alarm off. Then the phone fell between my wardrobe and my (loft) bed. The thing is, they are screwed down to each other for stability. So, to get his phone (which didn?t stop ringing), we had to take them apart from each other.
My boyfriend didn?t want to do this anyway, as he was tired and he could sleep through it. I definitely couldn?t, so I asked him multiple times to get out of bed and grab his phone, I even had to wake him up several times. He was mad about this but I was very irritated as his phone had been ringing for half an hour now. Eventually, he did get out of bed and I did too, to grab the tools and help him. He was already angry and irritated. He couldn?t get the screwdriver to work and it fell out of his hands. He lost it. The screwdriver fell into my boxes with socks and other small clothing items. He threw these boxes out if the wardrobe, at me (not directly, but he threw them behind him, where I was standing. Then, he kicked my shoe rack, leaving it dented and unusable. He then grabbed one of the wardrobe doors and pushed it out of the way to wrong side, breaking it. He angrily walked off and went back to bed.
I was terrified. I fell to the ground and cries because of what just happened. He knows that I am especially bad at handling screaming and violence because of my past. The phone was still ringing, so I stood beside the bed and practically had to beg him to help me and please get to phone, so at least I could go back to sleep and forget about this.
He eventually came out of bed again. He couldn?t find the screwdriver anymore (because he didn?t care to look) and started trying to pull the wardrobe and the bed apart violently. This didn?t work (obviously) and I literally had to pull his hands off of the wardrobe because he wouldn?t listen to me when I asked him to stop breaking all of my furniture. He looked at me with loathing in his eyes. He finally searched for the screwdriver, and when he found it in one of the boxes (where I had told him it would probably be) he got mad at me and said: ?Was it that hard to just give it to me!??
We took the screws out and he got his phone. He turned the alarm off (finally!) and I think he started to realise what he had done. I was still crying ever since he broke the door of the wardrobe and gave up trying to talk sense into him. I went to bed. He asked me if I wanted him to leave and I said yes. This was hard for me, as I really wanted to be comforted but I knew that he couldn?t give me that and I shouldn?t let him just get away with this and pretend we?re alright.
Now, I just don?t know how to move forward. He shocked me and himself, both of us didn?t expect that he would be capable of doing getting so mad and destroying my property in the meantime. He has said sorry multiple times but I still feel bad about the situation. I haven?t seen him in real life since, as he has been in quarantine. Am I overreacting? How should I handle this situation?
TLDR My boyfriend got mad at me and destroyed some of my furniture in the process because he didn?t want to get his phone out of an unlucky spot and he was tired.
Source.
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