I'm ready to leave my (31F) husband (30M) over an oil change

I (31F) am so overwhelmed and literally about to leave my husband (30M) of 6 years because we cannot get on the same page about managing our household.
Naively, I thought we were perfect before we had our daughter (2F), but I clearly see now that I was wrong, and the imbalance in our relationship was simply exposed by having our child.
My husband has a very demanding job as a teacher and high school sport coach. As an educator, he is 100% committed to his students and players, and for that reason, he has been promoted countless times as a coach and even won Teacher of the Year two years ago.
As a partner, I love and respect him dearly. The problem is that he is not an active member of our household. I work full-time, handle all daycare drop off and pick up, consult part-time to supplement our income, manage the household budget, plan family trips, coordinate social schedules, plan child activities, buy all gifts and cards, handle grocery shopping, cooking, everything.
I have talked to him countless times about taking some of the load off my plate. I assign him tasks, make lists and even put things on his calendar. And yet, he still forgets to pay his credit card bill (example: forgot to pay a $29 balance for three months which dropped his credit score by 70 points just as we were buying a house), get basic car maintenance done (example: noticed yesterday he needed to get an oil change for his car by NOVEMBER 2018) and even forgets easy stuff like ordering pizza for our daughter's 2nd birthday party WHEN THAT WAS THE ONLY THING HE HAD TO DO!
I'm honestly so exhausted. We tried couples therapy and she kept insisting to me that I should let the system fail when he's supposed to be responsible for tasks. But who is going to fix the chaos that ensues?? When we talk about it, he simply shuts down. It's like he's paralyzed by responsibility at home. For example, we hosted a get together at home for his players, and he ordered the food, cleaned before, coordinated times, organized games, everything. But for anything outside of work, he simply will not do!
I'm currently in individual therapy because I recognize now that I played a role in creating this problem by constantly fixing everything. But we agreed for us to BOTH go to individual counseling. I just finished my fourth session and he hasn't even found a therapist or had one single consultation.
It may be helpful to know that his mother did everything for their family when they were growing up. She's the ultimate problem solver and can do a ton in very little time. While I had a different situation where my dad was a very active member of our household. He took us to all of our appointments, did all the cleaning and grocery shopping, planning of family trips, etc.
Does anyone have any tips on how to equally distribute labor at home with children?
TL;DR Ready to leave because my husband, who is a superstar at work, is paralyzed by responsibilities at home and it's getting worse and worse


Source.

Hey beautiful I'm 34 turning 35 august 14th I'm looking for a long-term relationship with marriage and kids I'm single and ready to settle down and raise a child so if you are interested come chat with me

Sounds like you should of left him before you met him