[UPDATE] BF (31M) and I (30M) disagree about the values: fitness/Crossfit vs academics/career

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshi...ut_the_values/
TLDR: Bf's boss/mentor died suddenly, he lost his job, and started to spiral a bit. He had to change gears on his career. I had a breakdown in mine and changed jobs. In the end though, we stuck together, had both our perspectives changed by volunteering in a disaster zone, had friends come through for us, moved in together, and are now planning to get engaged. We've both worked hard and grown together. I'm proud of him and proud of us. Life is short and crazy - build the life you want with the people you want.
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It's been almost a year and thought I would update. Thanks to everyone that replied before - I read all of them and thought about the comments and they were very helpful!
So a lot has happened in the past year and values for both of us have shifted a lot. Not long after my post, my bf's boss/mentor was diagnosed with a rare disorder and died just a month later in her early 50s. It was a big shock to him. His small firm lost many clients after this and he was laid off. He was really stressed and sinking into depression.
Before my bf lost his job we had planned to do a trip as disaster relief volunteers together. He wasn't sure he could still afford to travel, but I put together the funds to go and I had the money. It ended up being a great thing for us. Despite all he had been through we were volunteering in a place where many people had lost everything and gave us some perspective on life and appreciation for what we have. I've been volunteering like this for a number of years, but it was my bf's first time. It helped to bond us in a way we haven't before (no internet, no people we knew, totally new experiences, being able to help others, tons of manual labor together everyday in blistering heat). I was incredibly proud to see him put his all into the work there - a lot of the selfish stances I had talked about in the previous post were changed at that time. We saw other volunteers of all different physical abilities doing their best to help out in any way they could.
After we got back my bf moved in with me. We went from being long distance for 2 years to living in a 400 SF studio. We had actually expected a long adjustment period, but it actually went really smoothly. We just sort of fell into everyday life (still some negotiation on chores, but we're getting there). We picked up new hobbies together like D&D, going to comedy shows, and meditating together.
He ended up getting a job as a Crossfit coach at a new gym with a much better inclusive culture (run by a husband and wife team who do not look like typical crossfit athletes). The new culture has changed my boyfriend a lot and the gym owners have been a really positive influence on him. It's so great that even I go once a week because the owners have made me feel so welcome! He's also really happy and passionate about what he's doing now. With the coaching he's also building up private clients and still doing some professional work on the side. It has built up his confidence a lot and he's now spending a lot more time with people who have a healthier outlook on fitness and have more balance in their lives. He's now making half what he used to make so we budget together (keep weekly logs, monthly financial meetings) and try to set 90 day goals together as a couple.
A few months after my boyfriend was laid off my job also totally hit the fan. TBH - I basically lost my **** for a few months. I was totally stressed out, crying weekly at work, and then applying and interviewing for loads of jobs to get out. My bf, who was just getting back to normal, really made the effort to support me during this time and took over most of the home duties so I could focus on my job search. Ended up switching to a new team at the same company in the fall and things have been (mostly) great since then. My perspective on how important career success is has changed too. These day's I'm mostly looking for work/life balance and not trying to kill myself to get a couple rungs up the ladder a few years sooner.
The changes have made us have to grow and adjust a lot as a couple, but we've come through stronger. In talking to my bf I know one of the big things that has changed in this period is we trust each other a lot more. Before in our relationship I think he was always worried about the fact that I was more accomplished, made more money, and hang out with really 'successful' friends. I wasn't always sure that he could put me first. But we've both had to stand by each other during some hard times in the last year. I've also been blown away by the support from my friends (most of whom are not super fit) - they gave my bf referrals, called to check in on us, and got him consulting gigs to make ends meet. Most of his Crossfit friends from his old gym didn't step up in the same way. His best friend (not a Crossfit guy) though was with us every step of the way - this is a guy who is pretty overweight and my bf used to kind of be an ass about it. Really proved the point character is really what matters. Overall, my bf is now more grounded, much less of a Crossfit jerk (there's still the occasional weird thing but I've come to terms with that) , and become a happier, kinder version of himself.
We've been talking engagement and rings recently, but are waiting until we've lived together a bit longer (still need to smooth out join budgeting) and finances are more stable. Overall though things are good.
Thank you to everyone here for the advice last year!
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Edit: bad grammar


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