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My little brother (M18) wants to live with me (F20) next year at college and IDK how to break it to (by Sparky)
My little brother (M18) wants to live with me (F20) next year at college and IDK how to break it to him.
So my brother and I have been really close ever since we were very young. Back when I lived at home he would basically just always follow me around like a puppy dog. He was constantly looking for me to hang out and to play with. Even into high school he still always wanted to be around me, despite what I was doing. He was crushed when I went off to college, and for the first few months he called me at least once a day, even more than both of my parents combined.
Now he’s applied to the same college as me and was accepted. The first thing he asked is if we are going to room together. I told him that I wasn’t sure and that I would have to talk to my friends about it.
I’ve hardly ever seen him get so excited about something before, he keeps telling me how awesome it would be if we got an apartment together. I asked him not to bug me about it and he’s been really good about that, but the way he talks leads me to believe he truly believes I’m going to room with him next year.
I don’t want to room with him. I love him to death and I’m excited as hell that he’s coming to my school, but I just do not see that working out too well. I already have a group of friends and we’re pretty sure we’re all going to get an apartment together. I also feel like it would be super awkward hooking up with guys in my room if my brother was there at the apartment.
I just don’t know how to handle this. I can clearly tell he 100% expects me to room with him, and I really don’t want to crush him. He’s extremely sensitive and I’m afraid he’ll cry and think that I don’t like him, and I can never stand to see him cry.
I guess I would just like to know a good way to put this to him, with him knowing I still love him like crazy and he’s still one of my best friends. I’ll definitely spend time with him once he starts going here, I just don’t think I can do the apartment with him. I wish there was an easy way to describe all this to him.
TL;DR: Little brother wants to room with me at college in the fall, don’t know how and don’t have the heart to tell him I won’t
EDIT: Thank you all for the wonderful responses, I received a lot more advice than I expected. I’ve gotten a pretty good idea of what to say from you guys and I’m planning on talking to him tomorrow since I’m home for the weekend. I know it will really upset him but I know for a fact he won’t try to convince me otherwise or complain or anything like that.
And as many of you have pointed out, he will probably try to spend a lot of time with me regardless of living with me. I’ve thought about it and I’m not going to say anything unless I need to, I don’t want him thinking that I’m dreading having to hang out with him because that’s not true at all. But if I need to and I probably will, I’ll tell him I’ll have lunch with him a few times a week and if he wants to come over to my place he needs my permission first.
Again, thank you all very much for the advice.
Source.
So my brother and I have been really close ever since we were very young. Back when I lived at home he would basically just always follow me around like a puppy dog. He was constantly looking for me to hang out and to play with. Even into high school he still always wanted to be around me, despite what I was doing. He was crushed when I went off to college, and for the first few months he called me at least once a day, even more than both of my parents combined.
Now he’s applied to the same college as me and was accepted. The first thing he asked is if we are going to room together. I told him that I wasn’t sure and that I would have to talk to my friends about it.
I’ve hardly ever seen him get so excited about something before, he keeps telling me how awesome it would be if we got an apartment together. I asked him not to bug me about it and he’s been really good about that, but the way he talks leads me to believe he truly believes I’m going to room with him next year.
I don’t want to room with him. I love him to death and I’m excited as hell that he’s coming to my school, but I just do not see that working out too well. I already have a group of friends and we’re pretty sure we’re all going to get an apartment together. I also feel like it would be super awkward hooking up with guys in my room if my brother was there at the apartment.
I just don’t know how to handle this. I can clearly tell he 100% expects me to room with him, and I really don’t want to crush him. He’s extremely sensitive and I’m afraid he’ll cry and think that I don’t like him, and I can never stand to see him cry.
I guess I would just like to know a good way to put this to him, with him knowing I still love him like crazy and he’s still one of my best friends. I’ll definitely spend time with him once he starts going here, I just don’t think I can do the apartment with him. I wish there was an easy way to describe all this to him.
TL;DR: Little brother wants to room with me at college in the fall, don’t know how and don’t have the heart to tell him I won’t
EDIT: Thank you all for the wonderful responses, I received a lot more advice than I expected. I’ve gotten a pretty good idea of what to say from you guys and I’m planning on talking to him tomorrow since I’m home for the weekend. I know it will really upset him but I know for a fact he won’t try to convince me otherwise or complain or anything like that.
And as many of you have pointed out, he will probably try to spend a lot of time with me regardless of living with me. I’ve thought about it and I’m not going to say anything unless I need to, I don’t want him thinking that I’m dreading having to hang out with him because that’s not true at all. But if I need to and I probably will, I’ll tell him I’ll have lunch with him a few times a week and if he wants to come over to my place he needs my permission first.
Again, thank you all very much for the advice.
Source.
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