[UPDATE]: I [38F] saw texts between boyfriend [44M] of seven years and woman he works with [28/29F]. I confronted him.

Link to original post:
EDITS at the bottom
Well, ****. **** hit the fan. We were were having dinner and stuck to mostly small talk. That's all I could really do and he seemed comfortable staying in the small talk zone as well. I was going to gently broach the topic (our relationship) when we were done eating. The whole time, both our phones were on the table. He received a text from his mother, replied and then went to the bathroom leaving his phone unlocked. I have never done this before but I couldn't stop myself. I took his phone and went into his messages. I found her name and clicked. My hands were literally shaking. I quickly scrolled up and saw what must have been hundreds of messages. I didn't have time to read them all so I just skimmed and then read the most recent ones, quickly.
They were not explicit. But they weren't good. I took a few photos of recent messages with my my own phone. By this time my hand were shaking so bad that I almost dropped his phone. In the messages, he had told her about an issue (non relationship related, non-person related) that he had had. I will refer to this as [issue] in the following... Here is the exact transcript of the texts I photographed:
Him: I have no idea how [issue] stands. It's really intense, I am nervous and scared.
Her: I hope everything with [issue] is ok... It should be, right? :) I wish I could give you a hug!
Him: Ohhh I wish that too. Looking forward but scared about [issue]. Hugs are always so soothing :) Thank you.
Her: Yes they are! Let's finish [project] and there can be many hugs. Let me know when you find out if [issue] is ok please :)
Him: Lol we must finish!! . I can't wait. Let's FaceTime tomorrow?
Her: Yes!! :)
And a little later, there were some more texts about some family member's "party" she was apparently at. He asked her a lot about it and how it was going and he wished her family member a happy birthday from him.
I also caught many texts of him saying goodnight and good morning to her. And I saw one where he said "good morning, darling" to her. Felt like a dagger through the heart. I knew he was somewhat enamored by her but I didn't realize the extent... From the looks of the texts, it seemed to be mutual as well but at that point I wasn't sure. All this time I thought that if he was unfaithful, cheating with sex would be bad, but love would be somehow worse.
The rest of the dinner was, as you can imagine, awful. He asked me what was wrong a few times. I told him I didn't feel well. Went home right after and just cried in the dark. After a few hours, he texted to ask if I was feeling ok and I told him I was ill. My thought process for a few hours was: Will decide how to proceed with this after things sink in further. All I knew was that my heart hurt like never before.
I wasn't sure if I even wanted to officially break up in person. I thought I might just text or call. I didn't know if I could stomach the sight of him. But after a couple of hours I knew I deserved to lay it on him. So I told him to come over because it was urgent. He was in the middle of working but he came since I said it was urgent.
Confrontation: And then I laid into him. I asked what the deal was between him and the girl. He seemed shocked when it finally clicked that THIS was the emergency I spoke of. He beat around the bush and wasn't answering my questions. I asked him why he was so intent on working with her. He gave me the same bull**** excuses of her being talented, etc. etc. I asked him if he saw her as just a friend and he clammed up. I said, "stop trying to protect my feelings, I want to hear the truth no matter how bad it is. You owe me this."
That seemed to shake him up a little bit. He admitted that he viewed her as more than a friend. I asked him to elaborate. He said he misses her, they spent 12+ hours a day together in the US over the summer and did everything together, were super compatible in terms of lifestyle, clicked extremely well. I was shocked. 12 ****ing hours a day... I asked him why he didn't tell me this sooner. He said because he didn't think it meant anything at the time and he didn't want to hurt me. I asked if he ****ed her. He was adamant that there was no physical cheating and he swore that he didn't sleep with her.
I remember that a few times when I had called him during this time, he declined my calls and said he was "working." Now I'm wondering exactly what he was doing with her to make him cut my calls. He says there was no sex and swore up and down that he'd never go that far. I think what he's admitting to is just as bad though, or worse. Isn't it?
I asked him to explain this ridiculous behavior. He said that we've been together for so long, and that he knew his feelings for her were wrong and that he tried really hard to stop liking her, but since they were working together (with signed contracts), they were always together and he couldn't help his feelings. He said they both like all the same things, both like to stay up super late, connect over music (they are both musicians) and are really close emotionally. He said that he felt a responsibility and an obligation to try to work through our issues but he just couldn't stop his feelings. He said it's been a daily struggle and that he has tried to do the "right thing" but wasn't able to get over her, even when she was far away.
I was fuming. I asked him what made him think that his feelings are reciprocated??! Does she feel the same? And that's when I found out that she actually has feelings for him and somehow it ended up coming out when they were working together. She admitted to him that she had feelings even when she knew he had a girlfriend. Apparently she "couldn't help it" either, and while he claims neither of them crossed the line physically, and he claims she is too good of a person to do that. I asked if they will start dating now and he said "I don't know." He said "I don't know" to basically everything else. I am basically destroyed after hearing this. He apologized repeatedly and clearly felt bad but his guilt isn't making up for any of this.
I know now that my relationship has been over for months I just didn't see it.
I can barely type this. I am in tears and I feel devastated. I know I will be ok in time but right now this is just too much to bear. The man I gave 7 ****ing years to is doing this to me. He has been outright cheating with her at the very least, emotionally. If not physically as well. And she knew he had a girlfriend. They are both disgusting and deserve each other. How will I explain to my child that the man considered a close, quasi parental figure that has dated me for more than 7 years has basically betrayed us by engaging with someone else? How can I let my child see me this way? I'm a complete mess. This is a conversation I'm dreading.
I guess it wasn't until I really put this all in writing and posted it here that reality sunk in for me. And after what I just read, I am so wrecked beyond belief.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for any gaps or bad writing, I'm just in shock. And I can't believe how quickly this all happened. I just want to sleep and wake up from this nightmare.
*EDIT 1: I will get back to everyone as soon as I can. Thank you for reading :) *
[UPDATE] - TL/DR: I saw texts on his phone between them. Evidence of emotional cheating/some kind of relationship between them. Confronted him. He stonewalled me for the most part but he eventually admitted feelings for her. I feel like my life is over.


Source.

Ugh, disgusting. I know it may seem bad at first but letting go is the best choice right now

Ok