Valuable scientific data.
The following are two proposed
additions to the periodic table of
elements (from chemistry class):
Element name: woman
Symbol: WO Atomic weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in
form. Boils at nothing and may
freeze at any time. Melts when treated
properly. Very bitter if
mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active.
Highly unstable. Possesses strong
affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and
precious stones. Volatile
when left alone. Able to absorb great
amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a
shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An
extremely good catalyst for dispersion
of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in
inexperienced hands.
Element name: man
Symbol: XY
Atomic weight: (180 +/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room
temperature, but gets bent out of
shape easily. Fairly dense and
sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a
pure sample. Due to rust, aging
samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond
with WO any chance it can get.
Also tends to form strong bonds with
itself. Becomes explosive when
mixed with KD (Element: child) for prolonged period of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good
source of methane. Good specimens
are
able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this
element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.

@jonson007: Funny as can be.

@Martian: thanx. I think its fairly true also.

@jonson007: That's what made it funny.