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How do I politely back out of a friendship with a close friend who I had/have feelings for without a (by Sparky)
(29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
How do I politely back out of a friendship with a close friend who I had/have feelings for without a conversation after overhearing some things? (27m,25f)
So close friends for about a year, I fell hard months ago, tried to have a conversation but we remained close friends even though she wasn?t interested. We both dated other people, but it stung and she kept initiating contact etc.
When I asked for space she got mutual friends involved who said I was over reacting and I went with it and we remained close. This past week we went to a happy hour and I hear her talking to a friend about her new hookup, how big his? equipment was and how she knew I still ?loved her, and it?s honestly a huge ego boost to know that he?s pining after me and at my beck and call, besides, I?m out of his league, and would never date someone as ugly as him?. It felt like a bad high school movie with the most stereotypical mean girl writing. I didn?t even know people talked/ felt like that.
Honestly I feel deflated. I thought at a minimum it just was ?I don?t like him like that, but value his friendship?. This feels worse. I?ve started telling mutual friends the past week I?m too busy to hang out, and been pulling away. She?s tried to call me twice this week and I just said I was busy. But it?s clear she thinks something is wrong. After the last time with drama I don?t want to have a conversation where she gets mutual friends involved. I love a ton of our mutual friends. But I don?t want drama and I don?t even know what I want, be it to back out and remain in the friend group, or to be casual acquaintances, or to just never talk again: but I do know for right now I don?t want to be here. Is there a good way to keep declining requests in a polite way so she stops reaching out? Is it worth it to have a conversation about what I over heard? Should I talk to mutual friends or will that just cause more drama? I feel lost.
Tldr: overheard a crush/close friend talk about me behind my back. I want to exit the friendship to heal but she has a penchant for drama. Not sure what to do
Source.
So close friends for about a year, I fell hard months ago, tried to have a conversation but we remained close friends even though she wasn?t interested. We both dated other people, but it stung and she kept initiating contact etc.
When I asked for space she got mutual friends involved who said I was over reacting and I went with it and we remained close. This past week we went to a happy hour and I hear her talking to a friend about her new hookup, how big his? equipment was and how she knew I still ?loved her, and it?s honestly a huge ego boost to know that he?s pining after me and at my beck and call, besides, I?m out of his league, and would never date someone as ugly as him?. It felt like a bad high school movie with the most stereotypical mean girl writing. I didn?t even know people talked/ felt like that.
Honestly I feel deflated. I thought at a minimum it just was ?I don?t like him like that, but value his friendship?. This feels worse. I?ve started telling mutual friends the past week I?m too busy to hang out, and been pulling away. She?s tried to call me twice this week and I just said I was busy. But it?s clear she thinks something is wrong. After the last time with drama I don?t want to have a conversation where she gets mutual friends involved. I love a ton of our mutual friends. But I don?t want drama and I don?t even know what I want, be it to back out and remain in the friend group, or to be casual acquaintances, or to just never talk again: but I do know for right now I don?t want to be here. Is there a good way to keep declining requests in a polite way so she stops reaching out? Is it worth it to have a conversation about what I over heard? Should I talk to mutual friends or will that just cause more drama? I feel lost.
Tldr: overheard a crush/close friend talk about me behind my back. I want to exit the friendship to heal but she has a penchant for drama. Not sure what to do
Source.
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