My boyfriend (30M) wants me to move in, but his house is a mess. We've been together for almost a year but don't want to become his maid if I move in with him. How can I get him to clean up after himself so that doesn't happen?

I (30F) adore my boyfriend(30M), but his messy habits are starting to give me pause as we contemplate the next step in our relationship. The idea of moving in together is exciting, but I want to ensure that we have a clean and organized living space without me feeling like the constant cleaner-upper.
I believe that communication is fundamental in any relationship, so I have had a candid conversation with him about my concerns. I expressed how crucial it is for me to have a tidy home and emphasized that I do not want to feel like his maid. (Growing up with family that struggled with hoarding has made me extremely sensitive to living in chaos.) Unfortunately, he hasn't been very receptive during our discussions. It often escalates into arguments where he accuses me of looking for excuses not to move in or claims he's too busy to clean.
I have proposed creating a cleaning schedule or chore chart to outline our responsibilities and maintain an organized home. This way, we can both contribute to keeping our living space clean without one person feeling overwhelmed or resorting to hiring a cleaning service. While we both have the means to hire outside help, he's embarrassed by the clutter and doesn't want strangers seeing it. Even when he does clean, it's not up to par. For instance, he'll rinse a dish after dinner but won't place it in the empty dishwasher, leading to a buildup in the sink that I end up taking care of. He also tends to leave things strewn about the house, making it difficult to locate items. This has resulted in him rebuying things he misplaced.
TL;DR? I acknowledge that some of his behavior may be intentional, but I believe it shouldn't be challenging to put things back where they belong rather than leaving them in random spots or just completing a task to prevent more work later. Overall, I acknowledge that open communication and establishing boundaries are imperative to overcoming this issue. I would appreciate suggestions on how to effectively address this situation.


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