I?m a 37 (m) in 14 year marriage with a 35 (f) but I?m worried I just fell in love for the first time.

I?m a 37 (m) in 14 year marriage with a 35 (f) but I?m worried I just fell in love for the first time.
I?ve been in a happy and wonderful marriage for 14 years. I have four kids. They are my world. I have everything. But I?m worried that I just fell in love for the first time with someone at my work.
I work in medicine, so we work closely with people of both sexes. Infidelity is not uncommon. But I have never once thought of having a relationship with anyone except my wife since we started dating in college. I don?t even dream about sex with other women. Our relationship was a slow gradual one. We were friends for years before we started dating. Then it was just what we were. A couple. Then we were married. It felt inevitable. Like friends who decided to be more than that. We built a life together. And a damn good one.
That changed this year. Well, not our relationship, but something from outside it. I met someone at work. We have similar personalities, a dark sense of humor even by healthcare prof. standards and months after meeting we were literally finishing each others sentences. Ive met loads of people like this in healthcare. It?s pretty common because team building is just what you do in this profession. But I?ve never met someone with my weird, dark, and strangely optimistic personality. We became buddies real quick, just one of those people that hook you into their sphere. But then suddenly I was finding excuses to be around them at work. Then I started thinking about them at home. Then I started dreaming about them and waking up with them on my mind. It freaked me out. And it was painful. Like my chest hurt all the time. And it weirdly it wasn?t sexual (I do find them gorgeous though). I just wanted to talk to them. All the time. But I knew I couldn?t because that would obviously cross a line. Because not only was I married but so was this person (with children as well). And seemed happy and blissful. But I couldn?t shake my feelings. I feel like a cartoon character whose eyes turn into hearts and literal sigh when I think of this girl. It?s so ridiculous I just want to laugh.
But I try to treat this person like I would with anyone else from work. I?m open with my wife about who I talk to on social media, texts and otherwise. But this feels different because I feel so much for this person. And it feels weird because I?ve never felt this way. I didn?t fall in love with my wife but gradually grew into the affection I feel for her (like I assume most people do). I can?t imagine my coworker feels the same way. I don?t want her to. To blow up two family units, a host of friends, two life?s is just irresponsible and would hurt so many people. But this feeling hit me like a train and it won?t let me go.
I?ve needed to get this off my chest for a while. I don?t know what to do other than suffer quietly. I can?t avoid this person at work. I don?t have anyone I can talk to.
Thanks for listening.
TLDR: Worried I fell in love for the first time and I?m married to someone else.


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