Dad's, how do you deal with feeling like the girl you married is gone, and you're just married to your kids mom?

I feel like maybe in 18 years I'll get my wife back, but in the meantime the kids are her only priority and there's no time left for me. Does it get easier as kids get older?
Edit: I went to bed when this had like 4 comments and now its approaching like a thousand.
I think most of my frustration is that we both have to spend every waking minute parenting and at the end of the day my wife has no energy left, and I just want to have sex sometimes and my wife is like can I have some time by myself with no one bothering me? Then she falls asleep on the couch and I pick her up and carry her to bed and I'm like maybe tomorrow.
I posted this last night after we put the kids to bed and it was a weird day so I went to IHOP at like 11:00 and got dinner alone. Got back home and wife was asleep on the couch. Put her in bed and she was like you want some fuk?
So post nut clarity I think everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
So we have three kids, 6, 3, and 6 months. We were hoping that last year our oldest would be in kindergarten all day and I could spend a lot of one on one time with our three year old. But then there was a global pandemic. My wife is a school teacher and so she is already overworked because teaching kids in person is a full-time job and teaching kids on zoom is a full-time job, and the school district decided that teachers should just do both simultaneously. So she has an increased work load at work. We have a new baby at home.
I think my work schedule gives me a lot more time at home with my kids compared to most dads. I work a firefighter schedule so 24 on 24 off work for several days, then a week off. So I do a lot of stuff for them. We were visiting some relatives and my wife's aunt asked her if I really change diapers without being asked. To be fair she just got divorced because her husband is a lazy ****.
On days when my wife is at work I obviously have to do everything. When we're both home we try to alternate. And I think we're pretty good at recognizing when the kids are getting under each other's skin and we'll try to play defense. One thing I'm bad at is when kids are screaming, I can't handle it for very long and I'll just peace out into the office for a while. And we've both noticed that our kids legitimately act worse when were both home. They fight more and are bouncing off the walls making messes as fast as they can.
And if we're both home, our kids only ask her for stuff. And we both have to remind them that they have two parents who can do stuff for them. Sometimes if they ask her for a snack and I get it for them they'll lose their **** because they're literally insane.
Also I'm pretty sure our sink just fills itself with dishes. Like it will be totally empty and then five minutes later it's totally full of sippy cups they have curdled milk in all of them.
I just miss being able to be more spontaneous. Also my wife doesn't want to have sex because she's worried a kid will start banging on our door screaming for her to get them gold fish or something. Which happens but only like 93% of the time.
Edit 2: My wife found my post and told me I need to clarify. She isn't some shrew that never has sex. And that girl I fell in love with didn't know anything, and now she's a "certified freak, once or twice a week."


Source.