My husband is chronically unreliable and it's worsening my depression.

My (26F) husband (25M) is a wonderful man with a huge heart. There's a lot he gets right but something that has taken a toll on our relationship for years is his chronic unreliability.
I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember (diagnosed BPD & bulimia) and have been self harming for over half my life. Something that has always been a huge help to me in keeping stable is organisation and routine. I plan many things ahead of time, try to stay on top of stuff using a diary. Meal planning is particularly important to me because of my ED history. If I know what I'm doing, where I stand, things are a lot easier for me. The downside: I can become quite obsessive and find it difficult to adapt to sudden change without - I know it sounds dramatic - literally wanting to end my own life. I'm seeking help and am trying my best to control my destructive urges.
My husband is the least organised and most scattered/forgetful person I've ever met. At first I found it endearing. I liked helping him and showing him effective ways of keeping his life in order. However, two years into our marriage, I do absolutely everything for both of us. I do *all* of the housework because he will half-ass it or do something completely mind-boggling like try to wash clothes in the dishwasher.
If I ask him to do anything he says, "yeah babe, I will." Two weeks later it still hasn't been done and we'll have had countless arguments over my nagging. Eventually I just do it myself. He forgets the most simple requests, even if I write them down for him and text him reminders. He sets reminders for things on his phone and still doesn't do them. He says I've said things I haven't, or vice versa. He has spent money we don't have. He's locked me inside our house more than once; forgetting his key in his pocket and taking my spare. He's always late, throwing off my meal plans which are crucial to keeping me from the binge/purge cycle. Every single day I ask him to hang his towel on the rail after a shower. Three years of living together and every single day he leaves his ****ing towel on the floor. I can't trust him to pay bills. I can't trust anything because what he says and what actually happens are two very different things. I've mentioned to him the possibility of an attention disorder but he laughs it off. I've threatened to stop doing everything but I can't bare the thought of living in a pig-sty and I've nowhere else to go.
It's seriously impacting my mental health. I am currently self-harming 3/4 times per week (more than I have done in years) and in the past 6 months I've started to notice the current trigger: frustration with my husband. He doesn't care either. Says I am being dramatic and continues to be completely unreliable in every aspect of our lives. He won't attend couple's counselling either. I really don't know what to do anymore.
TL;DR my husband's unreliability is having a significant impact on my mental health.


Source.