[Update] Struggling with staying or leaving my (28F) boyfriend (30M) of 8 years

I wanted to give you guys an update. Original post here.
TLDR: We broke up, I feel relieved, and life is good
It's now a few months after the fact. I broke up with him. It took two tries. The first time, he kind of talked me out of it, in part because he seemed to be taking my concerns seriously. I wanted to get to the point where I was 100% sure. It took a couple more months.
Sidenote: Someone commented on my original post about a book, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. I read the whole thing and during the first attempted breakup conversation, we actually went through the questions together and talked about each one, both of our perspectives.
In the two months between the initial conversation and the final breakup, nothing changed, on his end. He started paying me back but I had to nag him about it. No changes to his career progression, exercise routine, attentiveness in bed, anything. I even bought him a book about making sex better for women and he acted like he didn't even want to read it, even after I said how helpful I thought it would be towards improving our sex life.
The breakup conversation was the hardest conversation of my life. It was short, since we had already discussed everything the first time. I'm grateful that he took it well, all things considered. He was upset of course but still civil and mature with me. To anyone reading this, I don't recommend you expect this! I was prepared to sleep somewhere else that night (but I ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room).
Just before/after the breakup, a lot of things happened at once, to the point where I have started to question my vaguely spiritual agnosticism as a religious approach. The major events were:

• I went on what was basically a date (I didn't cheat but only barely). This man treated me really well and showed me what I had been missing from a romantic partner. He also, without giving too many details, works in an industry that could have helped with one of my main concerns about the breakup. I didn't ask him for help but it was a nice coincidence.
  
• Our roommate decided to move out and gave us about two days notice to decide whether to take over the lease. I had wanted to postpone the breakup for a few more days but this was the push I needed to put everything out there.
  
• A new, perfect, living situation fell into my lap and everything moved really quickly. It only took two days between when I responded to the ad and when I was signing the lease. The new place is in the same town, so the move went smoothly and quickly. Since then, I'm happy to say that it's still really good! I get along great with my new roommates and I love the environment. I also love having my own bedroom for the first time in years!
  
• A month after the breakup, the man I had a crush on for over a year asked me out! We spent a couple of nights together. It didn't end up working out, but it was a huge ego boost and I'm grateful that we got to try.
  

In general, I'm really enjoying my freedom, now. Reading back over my old post, it's kind of obvious that this would be the outcome, but it took me a full year from starting to think about breaking up as an option, to the point when I was 100% sure. I'm glad that I let myself go through that process, even though it may look like wasted time. By the time I had the breakup conversation, I was absolutely certain that nothing could change my mind and I'd given it everything I had. I have no regrets.


Source.