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I [20/F] found out my boyfriend [23/M] has been poking holes in our condoms.. now I'm pregnant. (by Sparky)
I [20/F] found out my boyfriend [23/M] has been poking holes in our condoms.. now I'm pregnant.
Hi Dating.mobi.
I could desperately use advice.
I recently found out my boyfriend, of 1 year, has been poking holes in our condoms.
On Saturday I missed my period which is very uncommon for me. I assumed it was nothing but decided to take a test to reassure myself. When I took the test, two very clear pink lines appeared. I thought it was a mistake, so I took another. This led me to take one more test that also came out positive. In a panic, I ran to Target and purchased more tests, including digital ones. All of them were positive. Incredibly baffled and in disbelief I went to the doctor today and it was confirmed.
I honestly had no idea how it happened considering we always were using condoms. I told my boyfriend he needed to come home right away when he gets off of work . We he finally got home, I told him that I was pregnant. I was expecting a very confused and scared reaction, but I was embraced with a very happy and excited reaction. I was incredibly taken aback by his reaction and I asked him what was wrong with him? He proceeded to tell me that this is going to be a good thing and that we will be okay. I began explaining to him that I do not want kids right now. He tried to reassure me by saying "things happen" and sometimes they're not planned.
I honestly couldn't piece together how it happened. We always used condoms. I would not let him do anything otherwise. A little backstory: I was on birth control for 3 years and decided to get off because I was couldn't handle the side effects. I talked to him about this and he said it was fine and that we would only use condoms. He completely supported me.
I'm feeling incredibly guilty because I should have known better. I honestly do not want this child with him. I do not see a future with him and I do not want children with him. During our year, he was not a bad person. He did not treat me horribly or anything along the lines of that. I thought this was a very good relationship, but again I did not think anything long-term would come of it.
After questioning how this could happen, he finally admitted that he was poking holes in our condoms. In incredible disbelief and anger, I asked him why he would do such a stupid thing. (About a month ago we got into an argument and I told him that I did not honestly see a future with him or that I didn't feel like we would work out long-term.) He told me he did it because of our argument and he thought it would make everything better, and it would make me want to be with him. And that maybe I would also see a future with him.
I told him that I was going to get an abortion. A lot of me wants to have an abortion, however at the same time I feel guilty, because again I should have known better. I should have been on another method of birth control. He became a furious when I told him I wanted get an abortion. I also told him that he needed to pay for it because he did this to me. He told me he would not pay for it and he could take legal action against me if I decided to have an abortion without his consent.
I packed a bag of my things and left to go to my mom's house. While I was trying to leave our apartment, he kept blocking me and grabbing me so that I would not leave. He did become a little bit forceful when grabbing me. I told him to let me go or I would call the police. He let me go because he did not want the police to be called.
I do not know what to do. He keeps texting me apologizing, telling me to forgive him and begging me to not get an abortion. I do not want this child. I do not want this with him.
My mom suggested that I go to his command (he is military) to get him in trouble. However I do not feel comfortable doing that. I wouldn't want to ruin his career in the military.
Please help.
tl;dr: My boyfriend of one year got me pregnant on purpose by poking holes in our condoms. I told him I want an abortion. He does not want me to have one and told me he would take legal action if I did. He refuses to take any responsibility for what he has done.
EDIT: so I really like to thank everyone who has commented so far. I really appreciate all of your advice. Everyone's comments are coming in so fast I figured I would clarify a little bit here. Yes, I I'm going to get the abortion. I've contacted Planned Parenthood and I was able to immediately get an appointment. Unfortunately none of his texts actually say he poke holes in our condoms. All of them were apologies and how this could be a good thing. I'm struggling whether I should talk to him and try to get him to admit or just go to the police and my attorney with what I have.
Source.
Hi Dating.mobi.
I could desperately use advice.
I recently found out my boyfriend, of 1 year, has been poking holes in our condoms.
On Saturday I missed my period which is very uncommon for me. I assumed it was nothing but decided to take a test to reassure myself. When I took the test, two very clear pink lines appeared. I thought it was a mistake, so I took another. This led me to take one more test that also came out positive. In a panic, I ran to Target and purchased more tests, including digital ones. All of them were positive. Incredibly baffled and in disbelief I went to the doctor today and it was confirmed.
I honestly had no idea how it happened considering we always were using condoms. I told my boyfriend he needed to come home right away when he gets off of work . We he finally got home, I told him that I was pregnant. I was expecting a very confused and scared reaction, but I was embraced with a very happy and excited reaction. I was incredibly taken aback by his reaction and I asked him what was wrong with him? He proceeded to tell me that this is going to be a good thing and that we will be okay. I began explaining to him that I do not want kids right now. He tried to reassure me by saying "things happen" and sometimes they're not planned.
I honestly couldn't piece together how it happened. We always used condoms. I would not let him do anything otherwise. A little backstory: I was on birth control for 3 years and decided to get off because I was couldn't handle the side effects. I talked to him about this and he said it was fine and that we would only use condoms. He completely supported me.
I'm feeling incredibly guilty because I should have known better. I honestly do not want this child with him. I do not see a future with him and I do not want children with him. During our year, he was not a bad person. He did not treat me horribly or anything along the lines of that. I thought this was a very good relationship, but again I did not think anything long-term would come of it.
After questioning how this could happen, he finally admitted that he was poking holes in our condoms. In incredible disbelief and anger, I asked him why he would do such a stupid thing. (About a month ago we got into an argument and I told him that I did not honestly see a future with him or that I didn't feel like we would work out long-term.) He told me he did it because of our argument and he thought it would make everything better, and it would make me want to be with him. And that maybe I would also see a future with him.
I told him that I was going to get an abortion. A lot of me wants to have an abortion, however at the same time I feel guilty, because again I should have known better. I should have been on another method of birth control. He became a furious when I told him I wanted get an abortion. I also told him that he needed to pay for it because he did this to me. He told me he would not pay for it and he could take legal action against me if I decided to have an abortion without his consent.
I packed a bag of my things and left to go to my mom's house. While I was trying to leave our apartment, he kept blocking me and grabbing me so that I would not leave. He did become a little bit forceful when grabbing me. I told him to let me go or I would call the police. He let me go because he did not want the police to be called.
I do not know what to do. He keeps texting me apologizing, telling me to forgive him and begging me to not get an abortion. I do not want this child. I do not want this with him.
My mom suggested that I go to his command (he is military) to get him in trouble. However I do not feel comfortable doing that. I wouldn't want to ruin his career in the military.
Please help.
tl;dr: My boyfriend of one year got me pregnant on purpose by poking holes in our condoms. I told him I want an abortion. He does not want me to have one and told me he would take legal action if I did. He refuses to take any responsibility for what he has done.
EDIT: so I really like to thank everyone who has commented so far. I really appreciate all of your advice. Everyone's comments are coming in so fast I figured I would clarify a little bit here. Yes, I I'm going to get the abortion. I've contacted Planned Parenthood and I was able to immediately get an appointment. Unfortunately none of his texts actually say he poke holes in our condoms. All of them were apologies and how this could be a good thing. I'm struggling whether I should talk to him and try to get him to admit or just go to the police and my attorney with what I have.
Source.
There's more than one kind of birth control, so your side effects argument is dumb. You're dumb. Your boyfriend is dumb.
I [20/F] found out my boyfriend [23/M] has been poking holes in our condoms.. now I'm pregnant.
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