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I [23M] just proposed to my gf [22F]. She agreed to say yes as long as I promise to buy her a nicer (by Sparky)
I [23M] just proposed to my gf [22F]. She agreed to say yes as long as I promise to buy her a nicer ring years later. Is this normal?
Sorry if I sound clueless. I've been with my gf since high school and am the first of my friends to get engaged. I don't really understand what's normal or not when it comes to this.
Gf and I have been together for 7 years now and we've been talking about marriage a lot. We've been waiting for college graduation and now that she's finally graduated I decided to propose. We both come from a really small town but now live in a larger city. We share 99% the same friends back home, and she's my best and closest friend where we live right now.
Needless to say we're not swimming in cash right now. I'm still getting my masters and doing some part-time work after classes. I could only afford a $1300 ring which I suppose is on the lower end of diamond engagement rings. However, it really was the best I could afford without dipping into money reserved for essentials like bills/food/etc.
I planned out an elaborate date night and proposed to my gf during the last event. She seemed overwhelmed and happy and I thought all was good. Maybe two days later she approaches me and tells me with teary eyes that she needs me to promise that I'll buy her a bigger ring when I start making decent money. She says she's been thinking it over and she feels like I'd be "getting her for cheap" and taking her for granted basically if I don't buy her a substantial engagement ring at some point. She tells me she doesn't expect it immediately, but if she says yes to my proposal then it means I must buy her a big ring the moment I can afford it.
I was really hurt and taken aback by this. I certainly wasn't trying to swindle her or whatever, just give her the best of what I could afford right now. Of course when I make more money I'd be more than happy to buy her nice things of my own free will, but I don't know how to feel about being made to promise I'll buy it. She asks me to promise her that the next ring will be at least 10k or above because that's how much any decent ring costs. She thinks that will be no problem because what I'm studying and the field I'm going into should get me more than enough money to afford that. I guess she's not wrong but it does feel very cold and calculated.
Tbh I don't know that much about engagement rings or diamonds so I don't know if she has a point. If I really did just give her a shoddy ring that anyone would be embarrassed to have, then I sort of get where she's coming from. But I had asked a bunch of her girlfriends before and they all said it looked beautiful and tasteful, so I don't know.
Anyways is this a normal thing for her to ask? Is this a common part of engagements when you're a broke student trying to propose? Should I wait and take some time to think about this? I don't know what to do.
edit: Lots of people asking if someone else put these ideas into her head. That's what I thought too at first but she confessed she was unhappy with the ring the moment she saw it but didn't want to spoil the moment. She said she's been looking at diamond rings since she was a little girl, so she knows everything about quality/style/price of rings which is why she decided 10k for 1.5 carats was the base type she wants (in the future). So I think she really thinks this without anyone needing to convince her.
tl;dr: I proposed to gf. She said she'll only say yes if I promise to buy her a larger one later on when I have the money. I feel weird about this. Is this a normal thing for her to ask?
Source.
Sorry if I sound clueless. I've been with my gf since high school and am the first of my friends to get engaged. I don't really understand what's normal or not when it comes to this.
Gf and I have been together for 7 years now and we've been talking about marriage a lot. We've been waiting for college graduation and now that she's finally graduated I decided to propose. We both come from a really small town but now live in a larger city. We share 99% the same friends back home, and she's my best and closest friend where we live right now.
Needless to say we're not swimming in cash right now. I'm still getting my masters and doing some part-time work after classes. I could only afford a $1300 ring which I suppose is on the lower end of diamond engagement rings. However, it really was the best I could afford without dipping into money reserved for essentials like bills/food/etc.
I planned out an elaborate date night and proposed to my gf during the last event. She seemed overwhelmed and happy and I thought all was good. Maybe two days later she approaches me and tells me with teary eyes that she needs me to promise that I'll buy her a bigger ring when I start making decent money. She says she's been thinking it over and she feels like I'd be "getting her for cheap" and taking her for granted basically if I don't buy her a substantial engagement ring at some point. She tells me she doesn't expect it immediately, but if she says yes to my proposal then it means I must buy her a big ring the moment I can afford it.
I was really hurt and taken aback by this. I certainly wasn't trying to swindle her or whatever, just give her the best of what I could afford right now. Of course when I make more money I'd be more than happy to buy her nice things of my own free will, but I don't know how to feel about being made to promise I'll buy it. She asks me to promise her that the next ring will be at least 10k or above because that's how much any decent ring costs. She thinks that will be no problem because what I'm studying and the field I'm going into should get me more than enough money to afford that. I guess she's not wrong but it does feel very cold and calculated.
Tbh I don't know that much about engagement rings or diamonds so I don't know if she has a point. If I really did just give her a shoddy ring that anyone would be embarrassed to have, then I sort of get where she's coming from. But I had asked a bunch of her girlfriends before and they all said it looked beautiful and tasteful, so I don't know.
Anyways is this a normal thing for her to ask? Is this a common part of engagements when you're a broke student trying to propose? Should I wait and take some time to think about this? I don't know what to do.
edit: Lots of people asking if someone else put these ideas into her head. That's what I thought too at first but she confessed she was unhappy with the ring the moment she saw it but didn't want to spoil the moment. She said she's been looking at diamond rings since she was a little girl, so she knows everything about quality/style/price of rings which is why she decided 10k for 1.5 carats was the base type she wants (in the future). So I think she really thinks this without anyone needing to convince her.
tl;dr: I proposed to gf. She said she'll only say yes if I promise to buy her a larger one later on when I have the money. I feel weird about this. Is this a normal thing for her to ask?
Source.
Hahahahaha kick that bitch to the curb NOW!
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