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I (30f) just found out I'm pregnant for the 2nd time. My MIL (62f) was a nightmare during my last on (by Sparky)
(29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
I (30f) just found out I'm pregnant for the 2nd time. My MIL (62f) was a nightmare during my last one. Is it ok to literally ghost her the next 9 months and introduce her to her new grandchild after its all over with?
So typing this is out is like a college paper, i'm not sure where even to start...
Basically, my MIL is not a bad person and I think in her heart she means well. But she has this crazy controlling nature which is wrapped in a ball of extreme bouts of anxiety and depression which can make her unbearable to be around. Most days she's ok, but the big problem in there is no way to know going in which mood she's going to be in.
This held true during my last pregnancy as well, only for whatever reason she felt incredibly entitled and felt like I should accessible to her at all times and hours. Her heart was in the right place and she wanted to be helpful but she also cussed out my ob, she cried when I said I didn't want a gender reveal party or a baby shower and that I thought "push presents" were sort of tacky. She even accused me of "robbing my pregnancy from her" (it literally came out "you are robbing me of the experience of you being pregnant"). Another just insane incident where I was literally puking my guts out from morning sickness and she sat in the bathtub crying that I was getting to experience this and she wasn't. It feels crazy even typing that out.
So I'm very excited to be pregnant again, I love our daughter (3 now) and my husband is working it out with his job that he can work from home and more or less be a stay at home parent after my maternity leave is over with. Our lives are changing for the better.
This brings me to my questions....is it ok to just never announce to her that I'm pregnant? Other friends and family don't really cross paths with her so its very conceivable that we could pull it off. Is it in my best interest and sanity to do so? Or is this just the meanest idea I've ever had and I'm not considering long term fall out?
tl;dr: is it ok to not tell my mother in law I'm pregnant and wait until the baby is born?
Source.
So typing this is out is like a college paper, i'm not sure where even to start...
Basically, my MIL is not a bad person and I think in her heart she means well. But she has this crazy controlling nature which is wrapped in a ball of extreme bouts of anxiety and depression which can make her unbearable to be around. Most days she's ok, but the big problem in there is no way to know going in which mood she's going to be in.
This held true during my last pregnancy as well, only for whatever reason she felt incredibly entitled and felt like I should accessible to her at all times and hours. Her heart was in the right place and she wanted to be helpful but she also cussed out my ob, she cried when I said I didn't want a gender reveal party or a baby shower and that I thought "push presents" were sort of tacky. She even accused me of "robbing my pregnancy from her" (it literally came out "you are robbing me of the experience of you being pregnant"). Another just insane incident where I was literally puking my guts out from morning sickness and she sat in the bathtub crying that I was getting to experience this and she wasn't. It feels crazy even typing that out.
So I'm very excited to be pregnant again, I love our daughter (3 now) and my husband is working it out with his job that he can work from home and more or less be a stay at home parent after my maternity leave is over with. Our lives are changing for the better.
This brings me to my questions....is it ok to just never announce to her that I'm pregnant? Other friends and family don't really cross paths with her so its very conceivable that we could pull it off. Is it in my best interest and sanity to do so? Or is this just the meanest idea I've ever had and I'm not considering long term fall out?
tl;dr: is it ok to not tell my mother in law I'm pregnant and wait until the baby is born?
Source.
(58 / M-F / Louisiana)Takes from the Trailer Park: Pregnancy Edition
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