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I [25F] am the maid of honor in my best friend's [25F] wedding, her bachelorette party request has m (by Sparky)
I [25F] am the maid of honor in my best friend's [25F] wedding, her bachelorette party request has me feeling uncomfortable
(Throwaway/names have been changed)
Some background: I've known my best friend Jen since we were little kids. She met her fiance, Matt, in college and got engaged last year, and will be getting married this spring. I was definitely excited when she asked me to be her MOH, although a little nervous as I've never even been in a wedding before. Jen was born with some physical health problems that, while not super serious (i.e. she can have a pretty normal life), have always affected her, although she generally has a really positive outlook on life. But her parents have definitely always sheltered/spoiled her a bit because of it. They are paying for the wedding and essentially giving her whatever she wants, while I am much more limited in terms of budget, but I was very clear with her about that and we've been working around it.
We've started planning the bachelorette party - she wants to do a weekend in a nearby city, which sounded fun to me. However, in addition to the bridal party (which is small, just a few other girls) she wants to invite a number of close guy friends from college. I didn't think anything of it until she told me who she wants to invite...it's all guys she hooked up with in college, prior to getting in a relationship with Matt. And she told me she does not want Matt to know that these guys are going to be at her bachelorette.
I don't really know how to broach this subject with her. I tried to say I wasn't really comfortable hiding anything from Matt, but she brushed it off as not being a big deal, that these guys are just her friends now and that's why she wants them there. However, they are not even invited to the wedding itself. I definitely think it's really weird. If Matt was aware about it I wouldn't say anything, but I don't want to throw her a bachelorette and basically be complicit in whatever goes down over that weekend. But I also don't want to do anything to lose my best friend or ruin her wedding. (And I'm not really friends with Matt - not for any particular reason, I just really don't know him too well, we all live in different states and I've only hung out with him a few times.)
tl;dr best friend wants to invite guys she used to hook up with to her bachelorette and not tell her fiance about it
Source.
(Throwaway/names have been changed)
Some background: I've known my best friend Jen since we were little kids. She met her fiance, Matt, in college and got engaged last year, and will be getting married this spring. I was definitely excited when she asked me to be her MOH, although a little nervous as I've never even been in a wedding before. Jen was born with some physical health problems that, while not super serious (i.e. she can have a pretty normal life), have always affected her, although she generally has a really positive outlook on life. But her parents have definitely always sheltered/spoiled her a bit because of it. They are paying for the wedding and essentially giving her whatever she wants, while I am much more limited in terms of budget, but I was very clear with her about that and we've been working around it.
We've started planning the bachelorette party - she wants to do a weekend in a nearby city, which sounded fun to me. However, in addition to the bridal party (which is small, just a few other girls) she wants to invite a number of close guy friends from college. I didn't think anything of it until she told me who she wants to invite...it's all guys she hooked up with in college, prior to getting in a relationship with Matt. And she told me she does not want Matt to know that these guys are going to be at her bachelorette.
I don't really know how to broach this subject with her. I tried to say I wasn't really comfortable hiding anything from Matt, but she brushed it off as not being a big deal, that these guys are just her friends now and that's why she wants them there. However, they are not even invited to the wedding itself. I definitely think it's really weird. If Matt was aware about it I wouldn't say anything, but I don't want to throw her a bachelorette and basically be complicit in whatever goes down over that weekend. But I also don't want to do anything to lose my best friend or ruin her wedding. (And I'm not really friends with Matt - not for any particular reason, I just really don't know him too well, we all live in different states and I've only hung out with him a few times.)
tl;dr best friend wants to invite guys she used to hook up with to her bachelorette and not tell her fiance about it
Source.
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