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Can I [26F] get the chemistry back with my otherwise PERFECT [27M] boyfriend of 5 years? (by Sparky)
Can I [26F] get the chemistry back with my otherwise PERFECT [27M] boyfriend of 5 years?
Hi Dating.mobi!
I stumbled upon your website and seen this wonderful community, and I'm hoping you can help me.
I have a perfect, wonderful man in every way in my life. We have been dating for 5 years and it has been fantastic. He is kind, sweet and loving; he's handsome; he's a hard worker. He makes me feel safe. He's loyal, he's dedicated. He gets on with my family and I with his. Our lives are just so morphed together, and when I picture the future, he's smack dab the center of it. He's stuck by me through so much, and I for him. He makes me laugh, he's just a good man and I am so grateful for him. I know he will make a fantastic father, a fantastic husband and I am lucky to be in his life.
Now, here's the hard part. When we first started dating, we fell deeply into the honeymoon phase. I feel like I had the stronger dose of those crazy, lustful feelings - I'd cry when he'd come over because I was so excited, and when he'd leave for even a few hours I'd be so sad. I thought about him all the time, I wanted to be intimate every minute, I'd smile at his sleeping back and be able to just feel every feeling so big. I loved that high. Every kiss gave me butterflies, every moment was the best, the fights felt like the end of the world and the make-ups were even better.
Over time, obviously that faded. We settled into this comfortable, cozy type of love. But now - it's just fizzled. There's lots of love there, but when we kiss, it just feels like lips together. When we have deep talks, I get emotional - but we don't get a lot of those anymore. Sex is okay - but it's not something I desire with myself, with anyone else or with him. He's kind of gotten sloppy with it, and I'd like to talk to him about it, but I'm not sure how. It's exactly like every cliche I've ever seen about the topic: I feel like I love him, but I am not sure I'm IN LOVE with him.
I've hurt him before bringing this up, because I did it in a ****ty way (during a fight) and I yelled and it was just bad. Him being the great guy he is stepped up with more dates, being a little more present, etc. but the last year or so, it just feels like the chemistry (or maybe the better word is spark?) is just gone.
I'm currently in my final year of my graduate program, so money is tight - not a lot of time to go on dates either. We're in a city we hate, an apartment we hate, but I don't want to give up on him or us. He is who I want to make it work with, but I guess my question is if my experience and feelings are normal? What can I do to fix it? How can I make it go back to that comfortable, cozy feeling (I know the lustful stage isn't realistic)?
tl;dr: The spark is probably gone, and I have no idea where to start on fixing it. I DO NOT want to break up. Help me fix this, and save our love!
Source.
Hi Dating.mobi!
I stumbled upon your website and seen this wonderful community, and I'm hoping you can help me.
I have a perfect, wonderful man in every way in my life. We have been dating for 5 years and it has been fantastic. He is kind, sweet and loving; he's handsome; he's a hard worker. He makes me feel safe. He's loyal, he's dedicated. He gets on with my family and I with his. Our lives are just so morphed together, and when I picture the future, he's smack dab the center of it. He's stuck by me through so much, and I for him. He makes me laugh, he's just a good man and I am so grateful for him. I know he will make a fantastic father, a fantastic husband and I am lucky to be in his life.
Now, here's the hard part. When we first started dating, we fell deeply into the honeymoon phase. I feel like I had the stronger dose of those crazy, lustful feelings - I'd cry when he'd come over because I was so excited, and when he'd leave for even a few hours I'd be so sad. I thought about him all the time, I wanted to be intimate every minute, I'd smile at his sleeping back and be able to just feel every feeling so big. I loved that high. Every kiss gave me butterflies, every moment was the best, the fights felt like the end of the world and the make-ups were even better.
Over time, obviously that faded. We settled into this comfortable, cozy type of love. But now - it's just fizzled. There's lots of love there, but when we kiss, it just feels like lips together. When we have deep talks, I get emotional - but we don't get a lot of those anymore. Sex is okay - but it's not something I desire with myself, with anyone else or with him. He's kind of gotten sloppy with it, and I'd like to talk to him about it, but I'm not sure how. It's exactly like every cliche I've ever seen about the topic: I feel like I love him, but I am not sure I'm IN LOVE with him.
I've hurt him before bringing this up, because I did it in a ****ty way (during a fight) and I yelled and it was just bad. Him being the great guy he is stepped up with more dates, being a little more present, etc. but the last year or so, it just feels like the chemistry (or maybe the better word is spark?) is just gone.
I'm currently in my final year of my graduate program, so money is tight - not a lot of time to go on dates either. We're in a city we hate, an apartment we hate, but I don't want to give up on him or us. He is who I want to make it work with, but I guess my question is if my experience and feelings are normal? What can I do to fix it? How can I make it go back to that comfortable, cozy feeling (I know the lustful stage isn't realistic)?
tl;dr: The spark is probably gone, and I have no idea where to start on fixing it. I DO NOT want to break up. Help me fix this, and save our love!
Source.
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