What are the darkest jokes you know?

Source.

A man is at work when he receives a call
from the hospital informing him that his
wife's been in an accident. He rushes to
the emergency room where he's met by
the doctor. They sit down in the waiting
room and the doctor, with a very solemn
look on his face, says:
"Sir, I have very bad news. We did all we
could. Right now she's in a vegatative
state, which is likely where she'll remain
for the rest of her life. She can stay here
overnight, but after that, you'll have to
take her home because your insurance
doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

The doctor continues: "With the right care,
which will include you feeding her five
times a day, changing her soiled diapers,
and tending to her needs constantly, she'll
likely live for at least another 30 years."
The guy sinks even lower, just crushed,
and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't
cover this kind of care, so you'll have to
make some sort of arrangements to
purchase the equipment you'll need for
your wife. I would suggest you put your
house on the market today and sell it as
quickly as possible and buy a mobile
home. You're gonna need the excess
cash. It should be enough to buy the
equipment your wife needs and for you to
live on for the next couple of months. By
then, you should be able to qualify for
welfare and other forms of state and
federal aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing
uncontrollably.


At that point, the doctor puts his hand on
the man's shoulder, and says, "Naaaah -
I'm just fu.cking with you, she's dead."

It's Christmas morning. Billy and Timmy
wake up at the crack of dawn, run down
the hall to drag their parents out of bed,
and fly down the stairs to the pile of
presents around the tree.
When the dust settles, Billy has all these
great presents: a video game system, a
big-ass Nerf gun that shoots 8 different
kinds of projectiles, one of those electric
slot car tracks where the cars climb up
the wall ahd go through loops. But then
he notices that Timmy only got one
present--a little Matchbox car, which he's
pushing back and forth in the corner.
"Gee, Timmy," Billy says, "I guess I sure
got more presents than you this year."
Timmy says, "Yeah, well at least I don't
have cancer."

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?


Christopher Walken.



























What? The OP said dark jokes ......and Im holdin waaaaaaay back.

Why do wind vanes usually have a c0ck.

Because wind will blow right through a c*nt.
(no pic) lol

A guy was making out with a woman he just met.
As he was sucking on her t!ts, he got warm liguid in his mouth.
"I thought you'd be too old for recently having a baby" he said.
She replied, "I am, but I'm not too old to have infection".

except that last one was gross! lol

Why is May Asian American History month?



Because its better that Aprir or Jury







Sorry for the Wacism!











Ok ok Im done.....someone make a redneck joke so I dont feel so bad now

Teach a man to fish and he will eat
for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she
will accuse you of patronizing her,
claim she knew how to do it
anyway and that even if she didn't,
she could easily work it out without
the help of a man.

How many feminists does it take to screw in
a light bulb?

12.

One to screw it in

one to excoriate men for creating the need for
illumination

one to blame men for inventing such a faulty
means of illumination

one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be
too "rape - like"

one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as
being phallic

one to blame men for not changing the bulb

one to blame men for trying to change the
bulb instead of letting a woman do it

one to blame men for creating a society that
discourages women from changing light
bulbs

one to blame men for creating a society
where women change too many light bulbs

one to advocate that lightbulb changers
should have wage parity with electricians

one to alert the media that women are now
"out - lightbulbing" men

one to just sit there taking pictures for her
blog for photo- evidence that men are
unnecessary.