Okay I'm needing some objectivity here...My kids dad walked away 8 yrs ago and has had no contact with my kids. I have never sought nor received child support. When we had the wreck my children were placed on the state insurance (medicaid) and a child support case was began by the state. They found him in California and he paid support on our oldest for a few mnths before he turned 18 but denied that he was the father of our youngest who was 9 at the time. So the state requested a paternity test which I agreed to of course...we got the test back and it said he was NOT the father but there was a picture in the envelope that they took just before conducting the test. It was a pic of his brother not my ex husband. Long story short judge compared pics I had and ordered new test but he dropped off face of earth. My dilemma is that my oldest whom is now 19 and fully in control of his own affairs and I are receiving a very large sum of money for the injuries we sustained in that wreck and now their Dad has contacted them after reading about the money on fb. He has evaded all requests for contact for all this time and now wants to be in there lives?!? Bs. I have never ever bad-mouthed the kids daddy but I am not going to let him use our son and blow this chance he has to buy his own ranch...how do I do this without alienating my son that misses his daddy and is very very naive? Anyone? All opinions welcome.

Take a bit of settlement money and find a way to make HIM take a true paternity test? If hes the father...profit...then explain to son that life aint fair.

I let Becca text with him tonight because she had questions she wanted to ask...some of those questions were why did he let his brother take the test...he admitted everything and told her it was just to avoid cs...you better believe her phone and I will be at cs office tomorrow...at least we have phone number now...I am going to pursue cs vigorously...he has asked for that but I really really don't wanna alienate my oldest...Becca is just angry so I think I am good with her.

And belive me Walks...after the last coupla years Possum is certain life ain't fair...but his faith that mom always is hasn't been shaken...I wanna keep it thataway!

@LaDawn: Alienate him how? By making a man support his kids? Sounds like a good lesson to teach to a 19 y/o young man.

This is tough/sucks all around, but at the end of the day you gotta do what you think best for him

good point

ik...hope I handle it well...

On a side note did I mention how much I detest the child support office for initiating all this bs in the first pllace? I mean really my husband was 6'5 with my kids names tattooed on his forearm(which I told child support when they asked for identifying features) and they let a 5'9 shorty that DOESN'T have my kids name tattooed on him take the test? Wtf?!? Are they idiots? My daughter should never have had to wonder if her momma was a liar...she shld never have been made to feel unwanted to that degree...I am not taking any culpability from him but I am placing a large share of her heartache squarely on cs's shoulders. How dare the ppl that are supposed to advocate for children that have been hurt already be so careless!

@LaDawn: smdh. they are morons who cut corners when they shouldnt

Hence my advice to handle it yourself if u can afford it.