Do u love jokes???

‘Hello?’
‘Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near
the phone?’
‘No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle
Paul.’
After a brief pause,
Daddy says, ‘But honey, you haven’t got an
Uncle
Paul.’
‘Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room
with
Mommy, right now.’
Brief Pause.
‘Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to
do. Put the
phonedown on the table, run upstairs and
knock on
the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
that Daddy’s
car just pulled into the driveway.’
‘Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’
A few minutes later the little girl comes
back to the
phone.
‘I did it, Daddy.’
‘And what happened, honey?’
‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out
of bed with
no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug,hit her head
on the
dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!’
‘Oh my God!!! What about yourUncle Paul?’
‘He jumped out of the bed with no clothes
on, too. He
was all scared and he jumped out of the
back window
and into the swimming pool but I guess he
didn’t
know that youtook out the water last
week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think
he’s dead.’
*****Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
Then Daddy says, ‘Swimming pool? …………
Is this my house Phone Number?’daddy asked,
‘No,I think you have
the wrong number…….’

Oh come on funs get me verify so that the jokes come

Khkikikiki :-)) :-)

Once a son told his dad to buy him biscuit
wen coming from a jyn,,,,
son: dad pls wen coming buy me biscuit.
dad: spell biscuit b4 i bring it wen coming.
son: oh dad i hv change my mind,,, pls buy
me p.k wen coming...
gud morning to all ma frndz....

90% will get this wrong...
1.Brown.
2.Red.
3.Orange.
4.White.
5.Navy.
Which colour did I repeat?

Teacher:"What is 1+1?"
Children:"8"
Teacher:"Correct"
Teacher:"What is 2+5?"
Children:"14"
Teacher:"Correct" Teacher:"What is 4+6?
Children:"20"
Teacher:"Good, it's gonna remain like that until
government increases my salary!"

Oh verification!

MORE JOKES

Akpos was asked to lead in
prayer.
Akpos: But I don't know how to
pray dad?
Dad: Just pray for your family
members. Akpos: "Dear Lord," he started,
thank u for giving me such
lovely
and caring parents. Thanks for
our visitors and
their children, who finished all my
cookies, indomie, ice cream. Bless
them
so that they will never come
again.
Forgive our neighbor's son who removed
my sister's clothes & all
her panties and wrestled with
her on her bed. This coming
Xmas, pls send
clothes to all those poor naked
ladies on my daddy's blackberry and
provide shelter for the
homeless men who use mom's
room when daddy is at
work. AMEN

IF U R A PARENT PLEASE READ THIS
SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an
hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why
do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me,
how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an
hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is
so you can borrow some money to buy a
silly toy or some other nonsense, then you
march yourself straight to your room and
go to bed. Think about why you are being
so selfish. I work hard everyday for such
this childish behavior."
The little boy quietly went to his room and
shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even
angrier about the little boy's questions.
How dare he ask such questions only to get
some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had
calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really
needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really
didn't ask for money very often. The man
went to the door of the little boy's room
and opened the door.
DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"
SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too
hard on you earlier. It's been a long day
and I took out my aggravation on you.
Here's the $50 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled
out some crumpled up bills. The man saw
that the boy already had money, started to
get angry again. The little boy slowly
counted out his money, and then looked
up at his father.
DAD: "Why do you want more money if
you already have some?"
SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but
now I do.
"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an
hour of your time? Please come home early
tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms
around his little son, and he begged for his
forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all
of you working so hard in life. We should
not let time slip through our fingers
without having spent some time with
those who really matter to us, those close
to our hearts. Do remember to share that
$100 worth of your time with someone
you love? If we die tomorrow, the
company that we are working for could
easily replace us in a matter of days. But
the family and friends we leave behind will
feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And
come to think of it, we pour ourselves
more into work than to our family.
Some things are more important.