@ohman, and I'm truly sorry to hear about your mum, I'm sure that she's looking down on you and is so so proud of you for being a decent person.

@theatredrummer: thanks Man, I'll tell you, im at the cross roads, good/bad.. Been good all my life and all its brought me is trouble. Why not be a bad ass & get the same trouble, but at least im in control. I dont know, not long after chasing the dragon, or is the dragon chasing me??? I know i've a strenght within me, but its a strenght that scares me.

To briteeyes, One thing about me, Im an honest Man, always have been, which has gotten me into trouble more times than i care to remember, from my own opinion, i think you gossip behind the scenes.. Its what i think. People look for honesty, hearing it is another thing.

@ohman, I understand what you mean, because of my niceness people have walked all over me and I found myself years ago thinking that I might as well go out and just really be a t**t cos it seems that I'd get more respect and probably less s**t, the thing was, my conscience wouldn't let me, I'm a peaceful man, and that how I was made to be, I couldn't cause trouble, hell I apologise when it's not my fault lol, but yes it seems bad guys finish first, but I'd rather finish last and be the better man than be something I'm not ment to be. It's easy to loose focus, to loose faith and drive, but it's only a matter of time until it's revamped and your back on your way, I'd recommend a holiday but the idea of a holiday is to relax, and if you can't focus then a holiday would be no good, what I'd recommend is to talk in depth to someone, maybe write your thoughts and feelings down, leave it two days then re-read them.

@OhMan: i know how ya feel dude..

i have been in the same place u are.

@OhMan: My turn to say something to you, Since you always say it to me alot :) “Always look on the sunny side ”:) My inbox is always open my friend :)

Wow! Theatredrummer, Thank You my friend, You're a gentlerman, You have helped me re-open my eyes to how i was raised & my self worth, by your message. Thank You for the kind words, I will heed your advice.

To Giggles, Thank You so much. Am just calming myself down from this high! The emotion flood gates really opened up! Drugs Don't Work! At first they do. Then its a spiral.

All i can say is “oh man"