Tip No. 1. If you are a male, never wear a shirt. Clothing like shirts can flap in the wind, causing loud, noticable noices, that may drive your victim away. (You can do this if you are female too, but it is against the law, so don't say we didn't warn you.)

Tip No. 2. Don't dress like this :ninja: People will notice this kind of attire. And besides, it looks tacky.

Tip No. 3. Change cars often. Even if you have more than one car, it is well worth it to steal a car from a local dealer. Your victim might have been stalking you ,and know your car.

Tip No. 4. Never wear a seatbelt, so you can jump out of your car easily. (Belive me, it's hard to jump out of a car with a seatbelt on.. BTW, if a policeman tells you to put your seatbelt on, do it. Policemen are wise and have guns.)

Tip No. 5. Moms can be stalkers, too.

Tip No. 6. You should probably have a driver's liscence.

Tip No. 7. If you just made friends with someone, do the Stalker Friend Check, or SFC for short. The SFC goes like this: 1. Is your friend older than you? Does your friend wear a shirt? If your friend male? If your friend new in town? If you anwsered yes to any of these questions, you need to get professional help.

Tip No. 8. Your new baby sister could be a robot stalker. Do the Stalker Sibling Check, or SSC for short. The SSC goes like this: Does your sibling say goo gaa goo gaa shwee wawa mo, then barf all over the floor? If you anwsered yes to this question, get profesional help. Quickly.

Tip No. 9. Never make friends with anyone online. If you make friends with someone online, and they ask where you live (or if anyone asks where you live online or in a creepy voice over the phone,) don't tell them . (Hey, this tip makes sence!)

Tip No. 10. If someone is following you in their car for more than two seconds, then they are a stalker.

Tip No. 11. Dogs are the best at figuring out when someone's stalking you. Whenever they bark, it means that they've sensed someone hiding in the bushes. Always take your dog whenever you go in the car. If you don't have a dog, you can use a cat. (They just meow instead of bark.) You can also use a bird, turtle, or fish. If you are petless, go buy one.

Tip No. 12. This compliments Tip No. 11. Pet rocks count, too.

I love funny nonsense

@April666: wow thanks didn't know about the shirt... Do now. Rofl

@April666: this is the most epic stalker guide i have ever read thank you for the tips now I'm a full fledged stalker and my pet rock is a stalker too :-)

stay out of trees while it may seem like a good vantage point it is hard to move quickly when needed and your easily cornered

I know!! My pet rock is all sorts of excited

@Jjd614: Thats hilarious

Don' stalk a woman that has 8brothers. Ask my sisters old boyfriend.

lmao another great forum