Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well', he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift..'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon'.

--------------------------------------…

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's s*x?"

Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, s*xual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.

Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about s*x for?"

"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."

Roflmao....... Funny

:)

wow that was the funnyest hoke i had ever heard and the outhr one was ok . but that first one was funny that i read it to my 22 yar old neice

I went into a small bakery and I
could see the baker making bread.
He had no shirt on and was rolling
dough up and down his hairy chest
and fat belly. I told the lady at the
counter "thats disgusting"
She told me"you dont want to see him
make donuts"

AHHAHA HA! HA!-one of the few I havent heard before!:)good one!:)

Omg seen this dude one time at taco.bell he worked there and like.he started doing the milkshake dance and I was staring the entire time.then he go to where he was dancing towards me and he just stop.and caught me staring omg.he turned redd I burst out.laughing

Lmao.