bowser: MARIO! I have once again captured the princess! mwuahahahah!
mario: hold on a second! YOU!! *points at the princess* what the f*ck is your problem!? what time is THIS??do you get off on this sh!t?
bowser: are you mad? youre mad arent you?
mario: do you think i LIKE savin your ass? dont you think that i got sh!t to do?? ive killed so many many mother f*cking turtles! if i see one more of those mother f*ckers!!
bowser: theyre just doin thier job man...
mario: and YOU!! *points at bowser* dont even get me started on you, you fat F*CK!!
bowser: you think im fat?
mario: *points at the princess* we're gonna go home, and guess what YOURE suckin? MAH BAWLLS!!
bowser: arent we gonna fight?
mario: if you wanna fight somebody, go find my f*ckin retarded brother!
mario: ....... im SICKA THIS SH!T!!

Luigi: "Whata bout me bro? You forgot I helped ya save her many many times. Where is my Princess? Where is Daisy?"

mario: if you wanna princess, go find that mother f*cker link and take HIS bitch zelda!

@PaulG7719: LMFAO!!!!

level designer: ok lets put a beanstalk here... and..... a pipe over there by that pit...
mario: hey you!! do you think this is CUTE!? do you think this is f*ckin FUNNY!!??
level designer: whats wrong? is it the pits?
mario: the PITS! the PIPES!! the mother f*cking BEANSTALKS!!
level designer: but the beanstalks help you reach high places.....
mario: there shouldnt be any GOD DAM HIGH PLACES!!!
level designer: but what about all the coins we leave you??
mario: if youre gonna leave all these f*cking coins.... how about building a mother f*cking WAL-MART!!?? if i gotta jump one more pit! climb one more beanstalk..... im gonna rip your f*cking head off and sh!t fireballs down your f*cking throaght!! CAPEICHE??
level designer: y.....yeah!
mario: MOTHER F*CKER!!

best thing i've read in ages

*mario makes it home to find a note on the door*
bowser: MARIO! i have stolen the princess again! if you want her back, come to my castle! MWUAHAHAHAHAH!
mario: FFFFFFFFF*******CCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!
yoshi: ohh mario.... i cant stop eating... *swallows a mushroom kingdom resident* oooohhhh my belly....
mario: oh isnt that F*CKING great!! you obeise pile of F*CK!! now i gotta f*cking WALK!! GOD DAMMIT!!!


mario: F*CK!!

Omg this is frigging hilarious. Im laugh so hard i will never look at a mario game the same again without busting into laughter and everyone thinking im crazy. Omg to cool and funny.

ive got one: mario: -uses warp whistle-
bowser: WTF?! How did you get here so fast?
Mario: i used the warp whistle! (boasting)
bowser: you skipped past some awesome levels do you want that on your consience?
Mario: yeah but there were probably some crappy underwater levels too, plus a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do right?
Princess: im not ready to be saved yet!
Bowser: do you want me to just lie down and let you kill me?! Cause youve cheated your way here
mario: peach wtf do you mean your not ready?
Toad: sorry mario your princess is in another castle!
Mario: wtf's going on? Heck with this -uses star-
kills bowser and toad
peach: i was polishing my crown could you come back? I wanna be saved PROPERLY
mario: mama mia!