Sometimes I wonder if I died a long time ago..
In my mind I don't have flaws, my mother is still alive, my father loves me and I don't have to fake a smile every single day of my life.
I'm losing my faith.
I'm losing who I was.
Who am I?
Who are you?
My mind always paints a picture of a huge wall with lots of green vines covering it. The gate is locked and its so cold.
The sky is so dark and frightening but I find so much comfort in it.
The reality is I have flaws.
My mother isn't alive.
My father doesn't care.
And I dont have to fake tears everyday because they are real.
My smile was stolen long ago.
My heart was broken long ago.
My soul was shattered long ago.
Every night I wish someone would take me away.
Everyday I think
Someone is crying today
... this second.
A child lost his parents.
A woman lost her child before it was born.
Someone just found out they are.dying.
By the time you read this...
Hundreds of people have cried.
A child is getting beaten.. wondering what he or she has dome to deserve it.
I may not know you but
I want to let you know..
your not alone.

Thats good but sad.

@AwkwardPandaSneeze: This breaks my heart and makes me wanna tell you to please talk to someone about your sadness:( You are so young and it scares me some of the stuff you post is screaming for help w your feelings:( I lost my mom when I was 12-my dad went to prison for abusing all of us kids& theres so much more tragedy in my past I can honestly say I get it. I remember thinking that being asleep forever would be so much better than dealing with the pain-I actually jumped out of a car goin 50mph when I was 18:( This I do know young man-tomorrow will not be the same. It may not be better-but these feelings come when our minds and hands are idle. I bet if you got involved in something that made you feel good and content inside the thoughts would not be so overwhelming:) Also life has a way of living itself-I went on to having true love twice in my life and four beautiful children-who have given me five amazing gbabies!:)yes it hurt to lose the true love I had experienced but I wouldn change the pain now because it made me know what I truly want in life:) So...please promise me you will open the curtains on sunny days and try to heal as much as possible through constructive things that you enjoy:)Oh and its ok to cry-it is part of grieving-key word-part:) some of the other parts of grieving includes anger, acceptance, closure& moving forward:)

@sneeze, and Sammy, the before and after. wonderfully worded posts. I have felt Sneezes pains and struggles. I feel Sammy's victories! Be of strong heart, our young friend! your tomorrows begin with yesterdays pains.

@AwkwardPandaSneeze: Have faith and BELIEVE! God will help you to heal. You are in my prayers.