Idk what to say anymore. My words fail me. I cant stand this feeling of despair. Its like everything i know is wrong. Im trapped. Inside myself. But i cant find my way out. Im screaming but nobody hears me. Religious studies have failed me. They turn up no results. Academia is a fruitless endeavor. The more knowledge i gain the less i know. I know so much about so little. Im in perpetual agony. Laced with thorns of joy. How sweet they are. Late at night i wonder if the sun will rise and this time bring with a new found hope. But to know avail. It comes to find me weary. Ashamed. Broken. But unneccisarily strong. When will i hit rock bottom so i wont have to bear this sinking feeling. So i may look up and finally glimpse hope. I hear faint voices telling me to hold on, it will get better. But they dont feel the crushing of my spirit. It surrounds me. Consumes me. The harder i fight against it the more it tries to destroy me. If i lay complacent it begins to eat me. Nothing will be alright. Nothing. I welcome death as my final escape. There it cant hurt me anymore. You can say it beat me. It finally got the better. But at least i feel no more pain. Youll say it was something unsettled in my life. But my life was good save for a minor lack of love. Almost normal at times. But this terrible thing creeps in and devours. Unabashadly. It takes prisoners only to annihalte them. You cant see it coming. I wont take a pill to mask it. No. It will take me with my full knowledge. One day it will. Theres no one to.call to. Pity filled faces cant help. I dont think anyone can. They dont understand. And there are no survivors. It doesnt leave any. We really are truly alone. With our own thoughts to try to hold us up but they are poisined. But the worst tragedy of all... so few even aknowledge depression as a disease.
Not exactly an expression of my current feelings

Nice write up bro

Depression is definitely a disease.

Thank u guys

Just watch out addiction and depression work really well with each other.

Oh i kno

I know how u feel man...its rough and if u stop treadin in the water u'll drown. Just keep ur head up and someone will save u...the hope is slim but thats better then nothing. The light will arise in ur darken days and u will fullfil all ur dreams.

So beautiful yet so sad it brings tears to my eyes for i know the pain and agony

Cheer up buttercup :D